


The Best Memories

by sephcounttheways



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-01-10
Updated: 2015-02-19
Packaged: 2017-11-24 09:06:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 31,715
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/632726
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sephcounttheways/pseuds/sephcounttheways
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's time to move on. Sephiroth x Cloud, Cloud x Rufus, deathfic, awful sad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Days after Cloud turned nineteen, the path of his charmed life took a sharp curve.

Things were going dandy up until then, though. He didn't make SOLDIER, but was on track to blast through the exams on his second try. He was living in domestic bliss with Sephiroth, the love of his life. His family were all doing well. He was surrounded by great coworkers and close friends, hadn't an enemy in the world.

Cloud was deliriously fucking happy.

Then the love of his life went homicidally insane, leveled his hometown with a fireball, and stabbed him through with a six foot sword. Cloud then pushed the person he loved most into a vat of acidic mako. While bleeding to death, he was kidnapped by a sadistic scientist and then tortured for five long years.

Like any rational person confronted with such an unprecedented monsoon of bullshit, Cloud lost his marbles. Fucking checked out. He was a vegetable, and very satisfied with that lifestyle.

While catatonic, his good buddy Zack Fair had managed to drag his dead ass away from that hellish prison of medical torture. He carried Cloud over a mountain and through desert tundra. He fed him, cleaned him, wiped his ass... then died protecting him.

Then it got worse.

Cloud came back to the land of the living believing that he himself was Zack Fair. He stole his savior's identity because he hated his own life way too much to continue living it.

Cloud realized he wasn't Zack just in time to hunt down and kill his ex-boyfriend, General Sephiroth. Again.

He helped save the world. And everyone was shocked that this didn't turn him back into the ray of sunshine he had been as a teenager.

The world he'd saved was falling apart, and void of every single person that he ever loved. He didn't want to be with people, they only reminded him of everyone he'd rather be with. He couldn't watch movies, because there was nobody to talk about them with. He couldn't listen to music, he couldn't read anything, and he couldn't stomach food. Months went by without his mouth lifting into as much as a smirk. Nothing was funny anymore.

All he could do was train and work out in solitude. Physical activity was the only escape from the torture of his thoughts.

Cloud lusted for death. He didn't have the courage to eat a bullet, so he prayed for eternal mercy from the inky, insidious prank that the universe had played on him.

Two years later, the universe answered his prayers with a fatal flesh eating disease. It was Jenova in plague form, and he welcomed it. He sat alone for weeks impatiently waiting to die.

But that fucking cunt Aerith cured him just in time to kill Sephiroth. Again!

That had been a year ago.

Even though she was a nasty witch, seeing Aerith with his irreplaceable buddy Zack had made his heart a little... lighter.

He had to force himself to realign with reality every single day. This shit happened. This was the truth. This was his life, and it was not over.

With each new day, Cloud felt more and more like himself again. It was bittersweet, because he couldn't be himself without being keenly aware of bleeding, gaping wound Sephiroth had left behind on him figuratively and literally.

Sephiroth had destroyed their dreams, their future, and their life together so thoroughly, so entirely... it would be a lie to say Cloud hadn't enjoyed beating the shit out of him, just a little.

Of course Cloud still loved him madly. These events were not all Sephiroth's fault. Cloud had known that man inside and out, and there wasn't a shred of him left once Jenova took hold of him. He'd been a wonderful person with one deadly glitch, like a timing belt on a great car. Sooner or later, it was bound to break.

Cloud got the best of Sephiroth during their three year long relationship. He was the only person left alive who'd really known Sephiroth.

If there was any kindness in the universe at all, he was resting in peace. Cloud reasoned that the corner of heaven Sephiroth would prefer would be the pub full of dead rock stars. He'd have a big plate of cheese sticks in front of him that never got cold or crusty, with an endless supply of marinara sauce, and beer that never got flat.

Cloud was confident Sephiroth's soul, the most beautiful part of what made him the man that he had been, was intact. He had been taken far away into that safe, noisy, happy pub in the sky. He was there with his best friends, Genesis, Angeal, and Zack. He was there with Cloud's luscious family, the town of Nibelheim, and the whole Shin-Ra tower. Rhonda and Julie, and their little boys. Max, Kunsel, Chuckles. Cloud's school friends Cameron and Skylar. The Dirty Rubbers staff, most of the downtown slums, and the entire cast of Glee.

Everyone who was anyone was dead, and it was definitely a bitchin' party.

Zack had been a psychic. He'd spoken of past lives, which implied future lives. Cloud knew he'd see everyone again, in many incarnations.

Maybe next time, they'd have a simple life. No celebrity military status, no meltdowns, no aliens, no weird science, no tragedy, no premature deaths, no planetary battles. They would just be two normal jerk offs, falling in love and making a family together, then growing old and dying together. And he'd totally make Sephiroth be a girl next time because he wanted babies, tons of them. Cloud was going to insist upon it!

It was probably all Sephiroth's stupid idea to live this insane life anyways. It was just like him to choose to become an insane killer and go out in a blaze of violence and fury. And now Cloud was left all alone to pick up the pieces while the ex-General got to do shots in heaven with Lorna Rust and Jim Morrison.

How dare Sephiroth put him through all this, and then fucking bow out like a badass villain? How stupid! When they met again, Cloud planned on slapping him right in the mouth - after kissing it... Again and again and again.

These thoughts made Cloud grin in the dark of his small room above the bar.

... Even if it was silly, hope in Zack's shoddy psychic powers was all he had left. It gave him comfort, when literally nothing else could. It became Cloud's private religion.

Prayers came at night before he went to sleep. Cloud liked to catch up with Sephiroth, to talk like they used to before bed. His shrink told him he needed to speak more to the people who were still alive, but all of the people who ever actually understood him were gone.

There was no question that Cloud's clusterfuck of friends could fight, drink and party. They were cool, but damned if they weren't horrible conversationalists.

Talking to Sephiroth's spirit every night was better therapy because unlike a shrink or his friends, Cloud knew Sephiroth was actually listening. In life, Sephiroth had let him go on and on, genuinely interested in the stupid details of his days. It was one of the things Cloud missed most; lying in bed with their bare skin touching, just spilling his guts.

So Cloud spilled alone in his bed, a smile pushed against the pillow's surface. "... Tonight, Denzel was complaining about his room, that it was too small. I told him that story you told me about you moving out... about you being so happy with a dirty attic you ate cockroaches so they wouldn't come back. It made him laugh. It still makes me laugh, too."

Cloud could so easily picture Sephiroth with them. He had always been secure enough in himself to do silly things, especially at the suggestion of tiny people. He would have let Marlene braid his long silver hair for a tea party, absolutely. Meanwhile he'd toughen shy Denzel up with rowdy physical play and scary movies, while stuffing him full of greasy food.

The kids hated and pitied Sephiroth for everything Jenova made his body do. They had no clue how wonderful he really was, or how kind he would have been to them. It didn't even make sense to try and tell them, because it was Jenova's evil that brought them all together in the first place.

Cloud was alone in his mourning.

"Seph... I wish Denzel could know you. Sometimes I think... you gave him to me. I'm romanticizing it, I know, his parents died of stigma. But I guess in all technicality... you did give him to me, didn't you?"

'Stop bein' stupid and go to sleep,' Sephiroth might have tsked. Cloud tried to recreate the sound of Sephiroth's voice in his mind, but had trouble. He was starting to forget it.

When Jenova was piloting his body, he didn't sound the same. The rhythm to his voice was wrong. His lazy tongued accent was gone. Sephiroth was gone, as hard and desperate as Cloud had fought to get him back.

Cloud couldn't believe he hadn't heard his lover's voice in nine years. Nine years since they'd kissed. Nine years since he was enveloped in those arms. Damn, nine years sounded like a long ass time.

Cloud did the math in his head. He was now twenty-eight... So Sephiroth would have been turning thirty-five that following May.

Sephiroth had been so young. In Cloud's teenage memories he'd seemed so experienced, so old and wise... but in reality he was just a big kid. He'd hardly even begun to be the man he could have been.

Cloud swallowed a harsh lump in his throat, hating nights like these when he missed Sephiroth so acutely.

Life was okay. He was a great foster dad since the stigma cleared up, and a stable gay husband until Tifa found a real one. He cooked and worked the delivery beat during the day, while she cleaned and made killer cocktails during the night. He played with the kids, she disciplined them. He hadn't had sex in almost a decade, while she dated hot straight studs and shared the kinkier details. They were a match made in platonic heaven.

Cloud was starving for contact, no doubt about that. And he knew that as possessive and selfish as Sephiroth was, he would want Cloud to find a nice, sexy guy to treat him well and take care of him. But Cloud couldn't think about finding a relationship... too much had happened, how would anyone new understand? Not even the people who went through most of it alongside him understood.

The thought of some man running his tongue over scars that Sephiroth had left on his body... it was an outrage to consider, he didn't want anyone's hands or mouth near him. He didn't want some civilian chump trying to understand him, and Cloud was never enchanted by the thought of casual sex. It was too personal, too intimate of an act to do without that emotional connection.

Cloud feared that he was beyond giving or receiving love from anyone else but a memory. Even if he didn't remember his ex-boyfriend's voice quite as sharply as he used to.

He was suddenly struck with a realization: his old cell phone was in a bag in the closet. He was sure that he had brought the charger with him on that last mission to Nibelheim. It would be so nice to reminisce, and hopefully find a little video or a message with Sephiroth speaking. Just to freshen his memories.

Cloud lifted himself up and rummaged through the personal effects he'd stolen back from Hojo's labs. He'd almost thrown the useless duffle bag away a hundred times, but it was Aerith who kept urging him to hold on to it. Tifa took up that mantle when Aerith was gone, always on his back to hold on to his past and embrace who he was and all that bullshit.

It was still an embarrassment that he'd tried to... be Zack. That humiliation was probably the only reason he'd kept the heavy fucking bag.

Cloud unzipped it and was greeted with the rustic scent of decade old laundry. He searched through his ripe fatigues and found his old wallet, which was pleather and zebra striped. It was so bright and out of place... Cloud vowed to do some shopping and build a new wardrobe even better than his old one. There was nobody to dress up for, but it would make him feel good to put some effort into being cute again. Thirty was right around the corner, but Cloud had some damn good mileage left on his ass. He was definitely the hottest foster DILF in Edge.

Inside the wallet were some pieces of identification, a few gil, a reminder card that he'd made an appointment for another hair session with Reno's mother, and a gift card for Home Depot.

Sephiroth's gift card. He'd returned a lamp that seemed to eat up light bulbs like crazy, and had argued with the cashier over getting store credit versus cash. Cloud chuckled at the memory, holding the plastic against his lips as it came flooding back.

"I don't want this fuckin' shit," Sephiroth had complained once they were in the truck. He'd flicked it into the backseat, where Cloud had gone scurrying after it. Hey, it was forty-five gil.

The rest of Cloud's effects were mostly standard military gear. Clothes, starchy socks, long expired bathroom shit... then Cloud paused when he smelled something sweet, masculine and warm waft out of the bag. The scent seduced Cloud, bringing with it tactile memories of smooth skin, silky hair, and endless limbs of tight corded muscle.

Cloud sniffed every item of clothing until he found it... a white extra-large V-neck cotton standard issue t-shirt. It was slightly stretched with wear, streaked with deodorant and reeked of Sephiroth.

Cloud pressed his entire face into it and breathed in memories. After a while he groaned, "... You smelled so good."

Once Cloud was satisfied, he shrugged into the dirty old shirt. It had hugged Sephiroth's muscular form, but it was loose on Cloud even as a grown man. He hadn't ever been fond of the fact that he was smaller, but would have given anything to be picked up and cuddled like a big, fat fucking baby. Cloud closed his eyes and hugged himself, trying to shake off his body's desire to be touched. His skin crawled with longing.

He uncurled from his own embrace and slowly searched through the pockets and compartments of the duffle bag. He found his old cell phone and the charger. The little piece of technology had been a constant companion in those days. It was odd how cold and dead it felt in his hand; when he was a teenager it hardly ever cooled off.

Cloud plugged it in, and nothing immediately happened. He was almost discouraged, but the phone suddenly flared to life as it absorbed electricity. A message came scrolling across the screen:

Merry Christmas Baby!

Cloud felt that same lump rise in his throat, and very nearly turned the thing off. But he reminded himself that this was all just a nice glimpse back into an old life. These memories were fond... of people that he still loved, and who still loved him.

Sadly, the text box read, 'No messages within the last 120 days', and the phone had taken it upon itself to delete all the old ones. It used to be stuffed full of texts from Sephiroth, Zack, Cam, his mom...

Cloud had little hope for his voicemail. He didn't even think AT&T existed anymore. He dialed it with resignation, and felt his breath catch when it informed him that he had saved messages. He dialed the first one, and nearly jumped out of his skin when he heard a deep, intimate, masculine rumble in his ear.

"Baby it's me. You aren't still mad, are ya? I already miss you, and I'm sorry about what I said. I didn't wanna fight before I left, I'm sorry that it happened that way. I dunno when I'll be back exactly, but no more than a week. Call me when you can... I love you. And Zack says hey."

Cloud kept frantically reminding himself that there was context. Context was key. This was a message Sephiroth left after leaving for a meeting out of town.

They'd had a noisy quarrel about God knows what before he left. When he returned they'd greeted each other like long lost lovers. It'd been a night full of crazed passion and enough apologies that the words seemed to lose all meaning.

It was almost as if they sensed that there were only a couple of months left to experience each other. But no amount of kisses or physical love could ever possibly be enough.

Cloud began to cry so hard it made his throat ache. Nearly shouting from the force of his grief, he pressed his palm over his mouth to quiet himself.

He listened to the message again with another fit of muffled sobbing, imagining that Sephiroth was saying these eerily relevant things to him from the lifestream. Cloud could only weep as his entire body curled around the phone.

He had to let Sephiroth go.

The thought struck him hard, and he defiantly shook his head. Cloud couldn't let go. This was his fucking soul mate.

Maybe it would have been better if Cloud had just... surrendered to Jenova. He'd be in bed with Sephiroth's body right now, right this minute. Wild eyed, deranged and would probably more apt to crush his skull than to kiss him...

He'd never be the wonderful, strong man in the cell phone pictures. With trembling lips and eyes leaking tears, Cloud pressed through more evidence of how happy they'd been nine long years ago. There were hundreds of pictures to prove it.

How could Cloud love anyone else? How could any man love Cloud better?

Why did Sephiroth let Jenova take him? Why didn't he fight her harder? If he hated Shin-Ra so much he could have just -

With a grunt he stood up and yanked the used t-shirt off his body, nearly ripping it. He unplugged the phone, turned it off, and stored everything away in the closet.

"Not sane enough to deal with this yet," Cloud said aloud, as if to explain his cold actions to invisible eyes. "I miss you so much. Goddamn it, Seph. I need..."

With a handful of sleeping pills in him and a glass of warm milk, Cloud found peace for a few hours.

Cloud dreamt that he was driving on a hot, sunny day.

Sephiroth was in the passenger seat, head turned as he watched the flat landscape roll by.

It didn't make Cloud's heart ache to see his beloved. It was no surprise at all. Nothing felt more comfortable or natural than being beside Sephiroth.

Sephiroth was not the General anymore. He was just a man. Unnecessary muscle bulk didn't dominate his figure; his limbs were streamlined, lanky and lean.

His silver hair was short. There was barely enough length to gather it into a stumpy little ponytail, which Cloud found charming. The rest swung around his face as the warm wind danced with it.

Cloud knew a secret about that ponytail. Sephiroth couldn't stand his hair so short, but figured if Cloud was having such a shitty life, he could be miserable right along with him. Sephiroth had buzzed it himself, an emotional Britney Spears moment that had shocked everyone.

By the time it was finally grown back out, they'd be together again.

Cloud wasn't sure how he knew this information, but it made him laugh. He was suffering, toiling, and living alone in Hell on Earth, and Sephiroth felt that sacrificing his glorious hair was an even trade.

It was so vain, so selfish and at the same time... so fucking sweet.

Cloud hadn't genuinely laughed in a long time, and it felt too wonderful to try to hold it in.

Sephiroth looked towards the tinkling sound with a curious smile. He was even more handsome without the poisonous taint of flawed science. Clear gray eyes, straight nose, high cheekbones, soft lips... so delicate and beautiful that if he weren't such a tall, broad man, he'd be strikingly androgynous.

Cloud wasn't intimidated by that beauty anymore. He continued to giggle, challenging Sephiroth to speak.

Sephiroth didn't speak, but he reached out to affectionately curl his finger through the longest piece of Cloud's hair. Cloud brushed fingertips over Sephiroth's forearm, feeling the bumps of veins, muscle, bone, and a steady, healthy pulse beneath his warm skin.

"I miss you," Cloud blurted without thinking as he stared at the road ahead. He gripped Sephiroth's hand for fear that he might disappear upon being acknowledged, like a feline who only wanted to be affectionate in its own terms.

Sephiroth didn't disappear. He tugged on that piece of blonde fringe until Cloud looked at him.

He still didn't say anything, but instead gave Cloud a smile that spoke volumes. It spoke louder than memories. It screamed joy, forgiveness, promise, hope, and even a dash of 'stop bein' a drama queen.'

Sephiroth's hand sunk into Cloud's hair, and he finally said something. His lips were moving and the words made him giggle, but before Cloud could commit it to memory the dream receded and Sephiroth was gone.

The next morning, Cloud was woken up by a call from Rufus. It was unexpected, but the President of Neo Shin-Ra was extending a personal invitation to join him that afternoon for a liquid lunch.

"Just us girls," Rufus had promised. His new home in Edge was finished, and he wanted to reminisce, to greet a new era of their lives, and to hopefully convince Cloud to come back home to the company.

Rufus wasn't huddled in a wheelchair, he was tall and healthy, and in a more casual version of his tailored attire. Cloud wasn't battle ready, he'd come to see his old friend in jeans and a t-shirt.

They only drank one bloody mary before they were kissing each other. Cloud wasn't sure who'd made the first move, but it was so sudden, and felt so incredible, and it'd been so long for both of them that stopping wasn't an option.

They made love until nightfall.

Cloud tried to feel guilty... but couldn't. He couldn't even find the coldness to leave after it was done, he held Rufus all night. He didn't know how, but he felt in his heart that this was something they both needed.

When they woke up the next morning, they silenced any deeper conversation with more sex. Much as they were loath to, they had to eventually talk. But to their great surprise, communication was as effortless as telepathy.

Love comes when one least expects it, and in disguise. Cloud became addicted to Rufus, and within a month he had his own toothbrush at his house. Their life quickly became a boozy, giggly slumber party.

Rufus understood everything that Cloud was struggling with, having gone through a very similar loss in Genesis. They could talk about all of it candidly, and both could accept that they would always love their deceased partners. Rufus would never be jealous of Sephiroth, because he understood every last part of what had happened. He knew who Cloud had been and who he was now.

Rufus was cruel enough, blunt enough, and beautiful enough to steal Cloud's heart without damaging the weak spots that would always belong to Sephiroth. Cloud was such a kind, open, nearly innocent man that nothing in his entire catalogue of expressions or actions could ever remind Rufus of Genesis.

They were both slender and blonde, and nothing like the SOLDIER elite, alpha males they used to partner with. Highlighting each other's hair was a perfectly acceptable Saturday night date activity. Both liked to shop, hold hands in public, and feed each other finger food. They both liked to kiss gently for hours, rewatch 'The Notebook' before bedtime, and both could easily forego dinner in favor of cocktails, celery, and prescriptions.

But the biggest thing they had in common was baggage. Suddenly Cloud had to contend with Dark Nation and her babies, overprotective Turks, and Rufus' sudden mood swings and the harshness that came with it. Rufus had to deal with Cloud's foster children, distrustful former AVALANCHE members, and the fact that Cloud could burst into happy or sad drama queen tears at any given moment.

But soon enough, Dark Nation was curling up against Cloud and letting him touch her litter of baby monsters. The Turks backed off. They became fond of each other's friends and family, and the nuances of how each other handled emotions became familiar.

"I'm actually planning to cancel that trip tomorrow. Those investors out in Mideel are jerking me around, and I'm more than a little sick of their shit," Rufus ranted in bed one night, turning the page of his schedule book sharply. "Those bastards want me to kiss their ass for chump change? They should be thankful they're still relevant. My daddy would have had them erased by now."

Cloud was on his side with Ginger, one of Dark Nation's litter tucked under his chin. "So you're coming with me to Marlene's birthday party, then?"

Rufus slowly brought his schedule up to cover his mouth. "... That's tomorrow?"

"Yep!" Cloud couldn't contain a grin as his boyfriend's dark blue eyes narrowed in distaste. He laughed, "Fine, don't come. I don't give a shit."

Rufus threw the schedule book onto the floor next to the bed. He rolled to face Cloud and scratched Ginger behind her ears. "I'll take a Xanax and make an appearance. I normally don't tolerate children's parties though, so don't get used to it."

Something in that statement struck a chord in Cloud, and he would never be certain why. It made him flood with warmth, nostalgia, and a sense of a fiercer, possessive sort of love.

They were Sephiroth's parting words, before he released Cloud to Rufus' care for the remainder of this physical life: 'Don't get used to it.'

Sephiroth hated 'The Notebook'.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

This is unrelated to Blonde Ambition.


	2. Purgatory

Sephiroth sat in the shallowest part of the Lifepool and waited, frowning slightly as he searched the horizon. The end of his hair was getting wet, and the warm water pulled on it slightly as the small waves came rolling in.

Cloud had died that morning. 

After the last time Cloud killed him on Earth, Sephiroth was given an ultimatum from the Universe. He could either leave Cloud the fuck alone for the remainder of his mortal life, or go to Hell where he could reincarnate into the fragments of Jenova that Cloud carried as often as he liked. The downside to that of course, would be that their eternity as soul mates would be traded for an eternity as bitter enemies.

Fighting with Cloud was so much fun. But Sephiroth didn't really have a choice, and accepted the punishment to be locked in purgatory to wait for Cloud's arrival. It forced him to take a step back to give Cloud space to move on, heal, and live a full life.

Sephiroth had even given Cloud a new lover to worry over and take care of in Rufus. They'd been happily miserable together for years, until a careless mistake with wine and sleeping pills excused Rufus from mortal life. Cloud had only shed a few tears for his second deceased partner, and had found all the comfort he needed in his friends and adopted family.

Cloud spent the remainder of his life focusing on other peoples' happiness. He grew into a sweet old man who struggled to wrangle and teach great grandchildren and great nephews and neices and daughters and sons and whoever else he came across that he decided to add to his makeshift family. He opened a fighting studio where little kids could come hit him with plastic swords after school for free, and where he could solemnly pass his craft onto the next generation of young swordsmen.

Sephiroth never entered the place, but peeked in from a distance when the Universe wasn't looking. He recognized teaching methods that he'd shown Cloud, or techniques that had been assimilated from Zack. Sephiroth felt so proud he wanted to rip a hole in reality, walk right into Cloud's studio and make up for every kiss he'd missed out on over the years.

But then again, a martial arts and sword training studio with Cloud and his best apprentices probably wasn't the safest place for Sephiroth's re-re-re-reincarnation to drop by. He'd be dead again before he could land a single kiss.

There would come a time for them to finally be happy together, to fight to thier hearts content, to love even harder, to experience it all... it was called fucking _eternity_ , and it was _here_ , _now_. Sephiroth wanted what was his. He'd been through some shit too, after all. When was the happy ending _he_ was promised supposed to finally begin?

Sephiroth had made good with the Universe for being a bit of a dick. After all, the Universe didn't just spit out pure evil without taking a little creative credit for it.  He was the yang to Cloud's yin; it was the role he'd been created to play.

Being pure evil had a lot of drawbacks, though... such as being made into a shitty Halloween costume every year until kingdom come. And of course being trapped in purgatory kind of sucked, as well as feeling every second of mortal time until he reunited with his better half. He wasn't allowed to go very far, and was denied any sort of material or corporeal comfort until Cloud arrived. And he'd had to promise to never commandeer living flesh ever again, yadda yadda.

Sephiroth accepted the meager punishment, but being a ghost was boring. At first it was eerie and dark and mystical and he had a lot of time to brood around and think about shit. But then it slowly became a very real prison, and it was bullshit.

He wanted to do what the others could do: travel, explore the Universe, investigate every mystery until they knew all there is to know, play with pure mind and matter to create whatever they could dream of... Not to mention making the kind of love that immortals make. _That_ kind of sex spawned entire galaxies.

It was going to be better than anything they could fathom and it was going to last forever.

As the wait drew to a close, Sephiroth was more determined than ever to be a strong, capable vision when Cloud finally arrived. He wasn't going to move from the warm little lapping of the Lifepool until Cloud was in his arms, no matter how long it took.

With that resolve, Sephiroth hunkered down. He rested his chin on one knee as minutes and hours slowly passed him by. He felt every microsecond of it.

"Cloud's probably disoriented," Aerith offered, breaking the stretch of silence.

A large crowd had gathered to greet Cloud, who was a legend in the Lifestream as well as on Earth. But as time passed, people dispersed until it was only Sephiroth, Cloud's mother, and the people she refused to allow to leave. Cloud's mortal family was still waiting, along with Zack, Aerith, Genesis, Rufus, and Angeal.

Rufus seemed somewhat uncomfortable with the entire thing. "I can catch up with him later."

"You lived with him for nineteen fucking years, you can't wait a few hours to be here when he arrives?" Sephiroth growled bitterly, not taking his eyes off the horizon.

"I was with him ten times longer than _you_ were. I'm _still_ sick of him," Rufus retorted.

Sephiroth didn't reply or look back at him, but his strong, broad back shrank down just a fraction.

Rufus felt a pang of regret, but wasn't about to apologize until the rest of the group were all giving him severe glares, so after a long sigh he offered, "... But to be fair... all those years he wanted _you_. And I never really measured up. So it's going to be a little awkward for me - "

"This is so not about _you_ ," Zack interrupted.

"Well what's it about, then?" Rufus questioned, truly confused.

As they bickered amongst themselves, Sephiroth felt something bump into his thigh beneath the shallow water's surface. He felt an anxious ache rise in his chest and push up into his throat, and with a small huff of air he realized that he was... nervous.

But ready or not, a blonde head breached the calm surface, and suddenly Cloud was face down in the warm water before him. Sephiroth lost any grace he might have had as he clamored to his knees in the shallow water to turn Cloud over and pull him up into his arms. He sat back down with a small splash, spreading his knees to cradle Cloud's body on his lap.

Cloud's face was shrouded in a curtain of soaked blonde hair, and Sephiroth reverently pushed it up off of his chin, past his eyes and over his forehead. A few strands had stubbornly remained behind, and Sephiroth swept them away one by one as he stared at the beauty in his arms.

Cloud was nude, tan and smooth. He hadn't looked this way for many decades, but it was the form the Lifestream had decided he should be. Cloud was warm and wet, and Sephiroth couldn't stop himself from running a hand over his side and up his narrow back to feel more of his solid presence.

He couldn't tell if this was a very vivid fantasy, or if this was reality. He'd waited so long it seemed impossible that Cloud was here, it was always something so far off and out of reach. It was an event that was always going to happen _some_ day, but never _to_ day.

It happened so quickly and quietly that they were all still fighting when Zack noticed the arrival. "Hey, he's here!"

"Baby!" Cloud's mother cried, and rushed to Sephiroth's side. She didn't invade his space, despite her relief to see her son as she remembered him. She knew he really belonged to Sephiroth, but couldn't help reaching out to touch Cloud's cheek. "... He looks so little."

"Yeah..." Sephiroth agreed with a quick smile, and quickly brought his quivering lips together tight to refrain from emitting unwanted noise. It was all he could do not to break down into sobbing.

With his heart hammering in his chest, Sephiroth smoothed down Cloud's hair, which had already begun to air dry and spring up a little around his temples. He leaned down a bit to breathe in Cloud's scent, which was almost overpowering after the spark of renewal the Lifestream offered.

Cloud was really there, light but solid and warm in his arms, so beautiful and trusting as he rested against Sephiroth's chest. He watched in awe as Cloud's soft lips parted and he relearned how to breathe. Soon Cloud's eyes began to move gently behind his eyelids, and his fingers curled slightly where they rested against Sephiroth's side.

"Aww, look at him..." Aerith giggled softly, her chin resting on Sephiroth's shoulder to peek down at her friend. "He's like a doll. I almost forgot how pretty he was back in the day."

"How could you forget that?" Sephiroth wondered, but there was no hint of humor as he gently ran his thumb against Cloud's dark eyelashes.

At that ticklish touch, Cloud's eyes shot open. He didn't move.

"Hi Cloud!" Zack whispered, trying to peer down at an angle where he might fall into Cloud's vision.

Genesis shoved Zack aside. "Get the hell out of the way... such a divine gift from the goddess, hello - "

"He doesn't give a fuck about you!" Rufus whined, elbowing his way into the forefront. "... Hello again, my dear... your skin looks flawless!"

Cloud's eyes remained wide open, echoing the pure blue of the Lifestream. They were sightless, until his pupils began to contract and focus. Almost cautiously, Cloud's eyes rolled around to view everything in his line of sight. Eventually, Cloud lifted his chin to gaze up at who was holding him.

When those gorgeous blue eyes met his, Sephiroth was momentarily stunned into paralysis. He had lost his voice, but eventually found it to whisper, "... Hey."

Cloud's eyebrows drew together slowly. His hands began to move around underneath the water's surface, desperately groping for something and trying to establish some level of balance.

"Hey, hey... I've got you... Shh," Sephiroth told him gently, running a soothing hand down his side. "I've got you, Cloud. You wanna sit up?"

Cloud responded by grabbing Sephiroth's ankle underneath the shallow water and flipping him over onto his stomach. He scrambled up Sephiroth's back and shoved his head beneath the shallow water. With his free hand he managed two good, solid punches against the back of Sephiroth's skull before there was an intervention.

People were holding him back, talking to him, probably in a language he could understand but the ringing in his ears and extreme disorientation drowned it all out to a dull hum. He fought against these strangers to get closer to Sephiroth, and to snuff him out of existence once again.

Fingers held his face tight, and he looked into blue eyes that were so familiar. "Cloud, it's Zack! Chill out man, take a second and - "

"Zack," Cloud rasped, fighting hard to shake the hands off of him. Once free, he launched against Zack to grab him into a desperate hug.

"Hi Cloud!" Zack nearly laughed, giving a vivid shrug to everyone else. "Cloud... you're alright, we've all been waiting to see you! We missed you!"

"Where am I?" Cloud cried out.

"Heaven!" Zack answered.

"Zack! Don't tell him that," Aerith hissed. "You're home, Cloud."

"And Sephiroth's here?" He asked in utter confusion.

"Everyone's here!" Aerith chirped.

"Aerith..." Cloud swallowed deeply and approached her for a tight hug before he realized that her clothes were rubbing against his bare skin. He then quickly let go of her and covered himself. "I'm naked! Oh my God, I'm so sorry!"

"It's alright, Cloud!" She laughed, squeezing Cloud's thin waist. "We all showed up that way. But you're home, now. You're alright."

"And I can do whatever I want?" Cloud affirmed, drawing away from her as he turned his head to glance at Sephiroth.

Once eye contact was made, he began to edge closer to Cloud like a nervous feline.

"Sure!" Aerith told him, rubbing his arm and urging him closer to his soul mate. "Just... do whatever you want, Cloud. Say whatever you need to say. Sephiroth is listening."

Cloud answered with a sharp-knuckled punch to his soul mate's throat.

Sephiroth made a sound like a train whistle and fell to his knees. Cloud lost his humility about being nude and descended for another attack, but someone much larger swept him off his feet. Cloud tried to worm away, but this someone was definitely up to the challenge of physically containing the blonde whirlwind. Cloud glared over his shoulder at the behemoth of a man holding his arms, and a set of narrow, dark blue eyes regarding him with a deep ocean of patience.

"I'm honored to finally meet you," The man told him. "Do you know who I am?"

"I think so... you taught Zack."

"Yes, I'm Angeal. Don't be afraid. I know you very well, Cloud." Angeal said to him, loosening his grip to let Cloud stand on his own. He rubbed a wide, gentle palm between Cloud's shoulderblades.

Cloud then felt the more insistent touch of another person, and almost didn't want to look. He turned his head to find an almost identical female staring back at him. His mother was so young when she'd had him, and hadn't even reached the prime of her life when Nibelheim burned to the ground on top of her.

Cloud had to face terrors that he'd never imagined in his lifetime, and he constantly wished for her presence and input. To see her was overwhelming, and Cloud's mind was wiped blank of any uneasiness.

"Mom!" Cloud sobbed a little and lunged forward to hold onto her.

"Hi sweetie," She said, petting his wet hair down flat against the back of his skull.

Cloud cried, shrinking in on himself a little as if to create that comforting sense of childhood. He didn't want to have to fight to save the planet ever again, there was no way his mom would have let him. She would have told him to sit down and let the big SOLDIERs take care of it, and he would have fucking listened. He had no business saving anybody.

As if she sensed this thought, she smiled, "I'm so proud of you."

"No," Cloud's voice cracked a little, although he wasn't sure what he was protesting.

She laughed at his familiar moodiness, "Yes, I am. I'm so proud of you, little boy. Thank you so much."

Cloud's quiet sobs escalated into a brief bawl before he strangled it under control, "M- mom... don't thank me. I didn't wanna do it! I bitched the entire time!"

"But you did it, so let me thank you." She said, kissing his cheeks over and over again. "You saved me."

"I have so much to talk to you about," Cloud sniffed and hung his head against her shoulder.

April looked at Sephiroth. Sensing the immense heartbreak currently happening with her would-be son-in-law, Cloud's mother pulled away from him a bit. "Cloud... everyone is so happy you're here. We've all been waiting for you... Zack and Aerith... and Sephiroth. Don't you think you have a lot to talk to him about, too?"

"Please make him go away."

April's eyes were stunned and wide as she stared helplessly at the people who had decorated Cloud's past. They seemed just as paralyzed by this bizarre homecoming, and finally Zack stepped forward.

"Cloud..." He began, unsure how to proceed in this totally uncharted territory. "I'm... I'm sorry about everything that went on, but don't you think you owe Sephiroth a chance to - "

"No!" Cloud shouted, turning furious eyes towards him.

"Aww, why not?" Zack gave him a good natured whine. "You really should - "

"Don't tell me what I should do. You checked out early and got to be happy in the fucking Lifestream with Aerith, right?"

"Cloud!" Zack cried, unaccustomed to feeling any emotion at all besides pure bliss and contentment. But to be fair, he hadn't really been well equipped to deal with this sort of thing in mortal life, either. "What are you saying, man?"

"You left me!" Cloud accused.

"I was always there when you needed me!" Zack defended. "I - I was there all the time! I helped you - "

"You left me!" Cloud repeated, hardly able to catch a breath from the force of his sobs. "You all left me alone! I've moved on! I don't even know you fucking people anymore! And him..." Cloud finally acknowledged Sephiroth with a dark sneer as he remembered the position he'd woken up in, cradled defenseless in the monster's lap. "Mom, how could you let him _touch_ me? How could you..."

Cloud sank down heavily, still hissing angrily as consciousness bled from him. April and Rufus caught him, but were brought to their knees by his dead weight.

Rufus groaned, "Shit! He's heavy! I need someone burly and masculine to help me! Aerith, get over here!"

She rolled her eyes and came forward to offer some more support, and helped rearrange Cloud's limbs so that he was at least comfortable in his rage-induced blackout.

She turned up her eyebrows at Cloud's mother. "I have never seen someone come home this way. I had no idea this was even possible."

April shrugged in disbelief. "Where did this shit come from?"

"I don't know what you bitches are complaining about!" Rufus fondly patted the top of Cloud's damp head before wiping it off on his pants. "This was the most entertaining homecoming I've ever bothered to attend!"

Aerith assessed her bewildered group of friends with pursed lips before letting an uncontrollable laugh ring out. "I guess it is a little funny!"

"No it isn't," Angeal corrected them gently, reaching out to touch a comforting hand against Sephiroth's arm.

Sephiroth turned and began to quickly walk away.

"Where are you going?" April called out.

"Back to purgatory," Sephiroth answered, not looking back.

"Do something, Zack!" Aerith hissed to him.

"What am I supposed to do?" He asked incredulously.

Genesis figured he'd have to be the one to reel the touchy ex-General back from the bleak land of self pity, as purgatory certainly had that annoying effect on people. Genesis gave a weary sigh before shifting to his feet and jogging to catch up with his old friend.

"Seph," He called, reaching out to grab onto the back of his wet shirt, catching some hair in his grip. "Stop, or I'm pulling it out!"

Sephiroth reluctantly came to a halt and turned to give Genesis a soulful look of pure mourning.

"Oh, come on. You're fine," Genesis said with a patronizing coo, and perched a hand on Sephiroth's hip to turn him around and walk him back to the shore.

After a moment of resistance, Sephiroth asked, "What are we supposed to do with him?"

"We?" Genesis chuckled. "He's _your_ problem."

"... He doesn't want me," Sephiroth said, speaking his worst fear out loud. With that pain came a sense of purpose... if he needed to disappear to make Cloud happy, he was going to do just that. Cloud would wake up to a paradise that didn't have Sephiroth polluting it. He was going to have the kind of happiness he deserved... and it had been selfish of him to assume that he would be a part of that equation.

"Sephiroth," April called to him as he woefully reapproached his unconscious soul mate. "Come take him. He's so heavy."

"Why don't you take him to your place, Seph?" Zack suggested. "Let him sleep it off."

"For better or worse, he's yours," Angeal repeated Genesis' words, clapping a hand on Sephiroth's back to urge him closer. "He just needs some time. It'll be fine."

"... I don't want to touch him."

"I can make you," Aerith threatened.

Sephiroth reluctantly leaned down to collect Cloud, knowing Aerith could very literally enforce her will upon him. He hesitated, almost expecting something toxic in his touch to awaken Cloud and infuriate him again. Very gently he worked with Aerith and April to move Cloud's slender, but muscle-heavy form and scoop him out of her arms.

"It's for the best, Seph," Aerith tried to offer in comfort. "After a little time, he's going to realize what you mean to each other."

Sephiroth couldn't help but hug onto the rock-solid little body, and hated that it wasn't hugging him back. After so much waiting, Cloud was finally all his, but Sephiroth felt no joy in it.

He hesitated for several moments, and Angeal finally offered, "Do you want me to carry him?"

"... I'll carry him," Sephiroth answered, and then eyed his ex wearily. "He uh... he won't wake up on the way there, will he?"

Angeal succumbed to a facial tic before he could help himself. If unchecked, Cloud could definitely do some damage to Sephiroth if he did actually awaken. "Maybe we should all walk you there."

"We can do that," April nodded.

"Of course," Aerith agreed.

"We won't let him kick your ass again, Seph," Zack reassured.

"I'll dress him," Genesis offered, prompting a few uncomfortable glances.

They began moving towards the prison realm that Sephiroth inhabited, but Rufus hung back until they were a decent distance away. He peeked down into the water, dipping one foot in to feel around. Sometimes objects or clothing came through with the recently deceased - sometimes even prescriptions, which were difficult to come by in the Lifestream. Rufus didn't find anything, so he gave up and trudged along after the group.

He hoped Cloud would wake up and beat in Sephiroth's smug, pretty face some more. If nothing else, being around Cloud was never boring.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Consciousness struck Cloud like an arrow.

He burst awake violently, his eyes bouncing all over an unfamiliar room. There wasn't much to see - no color, nothing on the walls. The place didn't feel like a home, it was a cell.

There was no sound, except for the fumbled, botched plinking of a guitar.

With every defense on red alert, Cloud sprang up to his hands and knees and carefully peered over the edge of the bed. He nearly screamed as he made eye contact with Sephiroth himself.

Sephiroth looked like a deer in headlights, but then his expression melted into something warm and sincere. "Hey."

" _Mother fucker_!" Cloud spat.

"... Morning," Sephiroth greeted, staring up at him from the floor. There was a pillow stuffed under his head and an unplugged electric guitar was lying on his chest, and his fingers nervously plinked at the tight strings.

Cloud was confused. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Figuring out 'Sweet Jane'," Sephiroth answered, and his voice had the husky tint of sleep, as though it might have been the first thing he'd said that morning. "I tried to be quiet. Did I wake you up?"

Out of all the things Cloud had to say to Sephiroth in that moment, he stammered until he managed to accuse, "You don't play guitar!"

"Not very well," Sephiroth admitted, replinking the meandering tune. "I think I may sound a little better if I plugged in."

"... Am I in hell?"

"Close. My apartment."

Cloud lost his vocabulary. Looking down at Sephiroth, a million tiny, detailed memories came rushing forward from a forbidden spot in Cloud's mind. His sharpest memories of Sephiroth had been during fierce battle, but seeing him relaxed, heavy lidded and with his pretty silver hair spread out around him like a snow angel... Cloud wasn't sure who this person was. 

Sephiroth put the guitar aside and sat up, bringing himself closer to Cloud. "You wanna hit me again?"

Cloud moved backwards on the bed to put distance between them, and self-consciously pulled up the sleeve of his shirt to cover his exposed shoulder. "You redressed me?"

"I _dressed_ you," Sephiroth revised. "You were naked."

"Oh God," Cloud felt his saliva begin to produce rapidly, sickness rising in his throat. He doubled over to put his head in his lap. He then pulled a blanket over his head.

"I slept down here. And I didn't do anything out of line. Genesis tried to, though..." Sephiroth offered a joke. He wanted to reach out to touch the lumped form under the blanket, but decided that the best comfort would be to remain still. "You don't have to wear my clothes. I'll get you something that fits you better... I didn't want to leave you alone, though."

"I don't want to be here," Cloud moaned from beneath the blanket.

"Where do you want to go?" Sephiroth asked.

"Where's Zack and Aerith? Or my mom? I want to go with them! Why'd they leave me with _you_?" Cloud came up from the blanket red-faced and on the brink of tears. It was a familiar feeling, but not one he'd felt in decades, and time had given him a command of his emotions. But now he felt like a hysterical, emotional teenager again... Cloud then looked down at himself, and found none of the loose skin or spots on his arms or legs. He felt his face and was shocked when tight, smooth skin greeted his touch. "Where's the bathroom?"

"I don't have one."

"Do we... do people here... do they not use the bathroom?" Cloud asked carefully.

"Not really."

"... Define 'really'."

"Well, I never asked anyone else if they shit," Sephiroth made a breathy noise of humor. "... I never have since I've been here."

"You don't eat?"

"Not personally... I've seen others eat, though."

"Aren't you hungry?"

"I'm starving," Sephiroth answered, folding his arms on the bed and looking up at him.

Cloud was displeased. Sephiroth was being cryptic and annoying as usual, and there was no bathroom to give him a chance to look at himself... and to put a wall between himself and Sephiroth.

He glared down, increasingly irritated by how handsome and innocent Sephiroth appeared down on the floor with his arms crossed, looking up at him like a child. "What time is it? What day is it? How long have I been here?"

Sephiroth shrugged a shoulder, "Time doesn't really exist for most people here. I know it doesn't exist for you."

"Make a guess, then. How long has it felt like?"

"It's been three days in Earth time."

"... And you've stayed here?"

"Yeah."

"You've been sitting there for three whole days? Don't you have anything better to do than creep around?"

"No," Sephiroth's chin dropped back down to his forearm, and a smile formed on his mouth. "But I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

Cloud felt his cheeks sting with a blush, and touched his face again to rub the sensation away. He hadn't blushed in _years_ , and became incredibly uncomfortable by the fact that he had no idea what he looked like anymore. And for the love of God, his hair... Even though he didn't care what Sephiroth thought, he still felt an intense urgency to be pretty in front of this angelic, ideal vision of his ex-boyfriend.

Cloud combed down his hair blindly, attempting to flatten it. "So you don't eat... you don't use a bathroom... what do you do?"

"I wait."

"Stop giving such short, stupid, bullshit answers!" Cloud complained.

"You're asking me what I do? As in, everyday?"

Cloud made a vivid shrugging motion. "Yeah, sure!"

"This is purgatory. I don't do _anything,_ Cloud. I just wait."

"For what?"

"You."

"Why?" Cloud's eyes widened. "What do I have to do?"

"Nothing. You're free to go," Sephiroth assured him calmly. "I only brought you here so we could talk, and because this is where I can have you to myself for a while. A lot of other people who love you are waiting to see you."

"... _Other_ people who love me?" Cloud repeated incredulously.

"Everyone loves you, Cloud... I love you - "

"Whoa!" Cloud's nerves were thrown onto red alert, and he tugged the blanket up to cover himself up to his chin. Since he was already totally vulnerable, he decided to just throw everything out on the table and speak his mind. "Let's get something straight - I do _not_ love you. I don't even _like_ you. I could never be with you after everything that happened. I mean, I know it was Jenova. It wasn't really you  - "

"It was me," Sephiroth snorted.

Cloud looked off to the side for a moment, and then back at his ex. "It... it wasn't actually you, though. Not _you_ , you. Jenova was controlling - "

"No. It was totally me."

"Wh-... Even the time you came back in Edge?"

"All me."

"... But why did you... why didn't you... kiss me or something?"

Sephiroth redirected the question back at him. "Why didn't you kiss _me_?"

Cloud ignored it. "Weren't you happy to see me?"

"Were you happy to see _me_?"

"Stop doing that!" Cloud roared. "And it's so not the same thing! I was right and you were wrong!"

"See why I didn't kiss you? I could tell you weren't on my side. You're still not on my side, and that battle's long over. I lost, you won. You can't even be happy with that."

"How am I supposed to be happy with it?" Cloud grabbed his nose and looked away, building a wall of stone in his mind against crying. It was such a difficult thing to do at this physical age, but he forced himself to calm down internally before continuing at a more sober level. "... Why did we ever have to be on opposite sides? Why couldn't you just end it?"

"I didn't want to. I wanted to fight."

"Didn't I mean anything to you? Wasn't I enough for you?"

"You were everything to me. I would have given you anything you wanted... anything at all. And I did - anything you asked for was yours. But it just really pissed me off that you wouldn't give me your support in the one thing _I_ wanted. So wasn't I enough for _you_?"

Cloud's mouth fell wide open. "Sephiroth! You burned down Nibelheim! You killed my _mom_! You wanted to kill everyone on the planet! If I had done the same thing, you're saying you would have supported me?"

"Without a doubt," he affirmed. "If you burned down Midgar, killed Vincent and began a crusade to end human life... and extended your hand and asked me if I wanted to rule the planet with you while you steered it into the Sun and ended it all? Fuck yeah, I wouldn't have hesitated. It _still_ sounds like a blast."

Cloud let out a wild noise. "I actually believe you!"

"Without a doubt," Sephiroth repeated.

"You really are just a crazy mother fucker!" Cloud cried, his anger dissolving into laughter.

Sephiroth joined in, glad for the steam to be let off of the topic. "I can't help it."

"I don't know what to think about you anymore." Cloud sighed and brushed some of the hair out of his eyes.  "I've spent the last several decades trying not to think about you at all."

"Well, I've had a lot of time to think about you," Sephiroth ventured a little closer, propped his elbows onto the bed. "And here's what I have to say to you, Cloud. I love you more now than when we were together on Earth. I love you more, right now at this moment, than before you killed me."

"What?" Cloud warbled, eyes wide in horror and humor.

"So much has happened between us, and it's all served to make me understand why I need you. I wouldn't have changed anything about it... I never belonged on Earth, and someone needed to get rid of me. You were born to hunt me down and kill me, but in the process I guess your wires got a little fucked up and you fell in love with me instead. I'd never loved anything before, but you taught me how. And then it all happened, and suddenly you're this sleek little killing machine hunting me down. When we fight... it's better than sex. After the third time you killed me, I tried to come back again because I wanted more... I missed you so bad. So the Universe gave me an option: let you go for a while and wait here like a good boy, or go to hell where I could be as bad as I wanted and keep coming back to fight you on Earth... but never see you in the afterlife. It was a tough decision."

Cloud was in disbelief. "You are so... crazy!"

"You make me this way. I've been replaying every fight with you in my mind ever since Edge. I know your every weakness, but even if we were to go at it right now, I know you'd beat me again. You woke up a couple days ago in fucking paradise and started to beat my teeth in right away, no questions asked... I love you for that. It disappointed me at the time, but that's what you _do_. I love you."

Cloud's eyes had gradually lowered, as he too had picked and obsessed over the tiny details of that last fight with Sephiroth. To hear his counterpart's point of view was intoxicating, but something in his desire to hear more from those plump, poisonous lips made him guilty, fearful, uneasy.

Almost to remind himself, Cloud said, "You hurt me."

Sephiroth's wistful smile dwindled down into a pensive frown. "I wasn't the most important thing to you. Being a good, decent person is more important to you than making me happy and meeting my fucked up ideals. I love that about you, too."

"... I don't know how to process that."

Sephiroth leaned closer, his elbows creating deep indents in the mattress as his weight shifted forward eagerly. "Do you understand that things are different, now? We're not in that place anymore. We can just be together now... we can fight to the death, regenerate and make love in the same breath, and we can do it all freely. What happened back on Earth doesn't matter anymore."

"Of course it matters!" Cloud cried. "How can I ever trust you? I know now that I can't ever say 'no' to you without you going completely mental and trying to kill me!"

"It's fun, though," Sephiroth shrugged. "Plus you know you'll always beat me."

"Get the fuck out of here!" Cloud moaned, combing his hair into his eyes and sinking lower on the bed. "I can't deal with you right now. I'm tired."

"This is my place," Sephiroth pointed out. "Plus you slept for three days. How can you be tired?"

"I'm tired of _you_ ," Cloud clarified.

"Alright, I'm going," Sephiroth said, pressing his palms onto the bed to lift himself from the floor. But instead of moving farther, he leaned in closer. "Kiss me goodbye."

"Don't you dare!" Cloud bellowed, pulling the sheets up past his nose.

Sephiroth didn't move, but instead paused with that smug, insufferably handsome smile.

Cloud kicked the blanket off his feet and pressed them against Sephiroth's firm stomach in warning. "Don't touch me!"

"You're the one touching me," Sephiroth pointed out as he ran a warm hand over Cloud's foot.

Cloud quickly pulled his feet away and kicked the blanket down to cover himself. "Alright, you've had your fun. Now leave me alone! I need to think..."

"What about?" Sephiroth asked, sliding down to sit beside him.

"About how to tighten the security around here!" Cloud screamed, pushing against Sephiroth with one hand. The heat and firm presence of his ex-lover's body was torture against Cloud's will... but this man was dangerous, and Cloud was afraid. Not for the safety of his body, but of his delicate and wounded psyche. "... Get out of here!"

Sephiroth bristled at the touch of Cloud's hand, which wasn't even pushing. Cloud was grabbing onto him and copping a feel of his chest. "Stop flirting with me."

Cloud was bright red as he jerked his hand away. "Get out!"

"If you really want me to leave, gimme a kiss first."

"No!" Cloud wailed.

"Just one, then I'll go," Sephiroth insisted, reached out to touch Cloud's chin and point his delicate, soft face in his direction.

"This is rape!" Cloud groaned, unable to help from smiling as Sephiroth turned his head. He was left staring at him up close, appreciating every detail and reveling in a rush of vivid memories.

"Please kiss me?" Sephiroth asked, leaving every weak spot on his body exposed to ensure that if it was truly unwanted, Cloud could have him on the ground in moments.

"Can I punch you in the throat again afterwards?" Cloud bargained.

"Sure."

"... Okay," Cloud said, his eyes narrowing in anticipation.

Sephiroth angled his body towards Cloud, leaning in until he was at a kissable distance, and paused to run his thumb along Cloud's finely pointed chin and jaw line. "You're gorgeous."

Cloud's eyebrows lifted a bit. "How old do I look?"

"I can't tell. Twenty-ish?" Sephiroth guessed, brushing his thumb under his eye and along his cheekbone.

Cloud felt chills run down his neck as he broke out in goosebumps at Sephiroth's light touch. He swallowed and defused the moment with a grin. "How's my hair?"

"A mess," Sephiroth smiled.

"... I feel better," Cloud told him. "I feel like me, again. I didn't like being old."

"I thought you were cute as an old guy," Sephiroth leaned down a fraction and touched his nose to Cloud's. "Grandpa Cloud could still kick my ass, I'm sure."

Cloud prepared a catty remark, but was stifled by the press of Sephiroth's lips against his. Cloud immediately opened his mouth and pushed his tongue against those soft lips, and moaned as he was met with sharp teeth.

It felt so good that it unleashed an avalanche of anger. Cloud felt stinging tears in his eyes at how long he'd been forced to go without this kiss, and at how it had to be connected to such an unstable fuck up of a guy.

"It hurts," Cloud whimpered against the edge of Sephiroth's mouth, knowing he could feel hot tears against his face. He felt weak and vulnerable, and wasn't sure if he could trust this person in this fragile state.

"I'll make it better," Sephiroth said against his ear.

"You can't," Cloud sobbed.

"Let me try," Sephiroth replied breathlessly, rubbing his face along Cloud's cheek in a purely feline motion.

Cloud buried his hands in long silver hair and jerked Sephiroth's head to the side to push his tongue in deep. He felt Sephiroth's hands burrow underneath him, and his considerable weight push him down into the mattress.

Time became a liquid, indiscernible thing, and Cloud couldn't have guessed how long he spent kissing Sephiroth. It was enough that his tears dried, and his sobs were replaced with tiny sounds of longing. He knew Sephiroth would be able to feel an erection against his stomach, but kept his hips elevated at a respectable distance. Sephiroth's only desire was to play against Cloud's lips and tongue, but eventually he eased down to rest against his body.

One gentle thrusting motion was enough to drag a moan out of Cloud that was humiliatingly loud. Sephiroth answered with a long, deep rumble, and it had Cloud kicking underneath him.

"Okay!" Cloud ripped his mouth away and turned his head to the side. "That was way more than one kiss!"

"One more?" Sephiroth begged with a boyish smile, immediately moving his mouth along the curve of Cloud's neck. He couldn't stop; he just wanted to kiss whatever was in front of him, Cloud's neck, shoulder, his ear, his temple, his hair. Eventually he worked his way back to his sweet, hot mouth.

"Hang on..." Cloud wriggled, trying to move from the soft, searing hot press of those addictive lips. He was confused, angry, and just wanted to hurt Sephiroth in any way he could. He wanted to deprive Sephiroth of any satisfaction, not consent to a goddamn dry hump.

Cloud heard himself shout, "I don't _love_ you anymore!"

"Okay," Sephiroth shrugged, and pushed several more wet kisses against Cloud's lips.

Cloud turned away from them, "I don't _love_ you! Don't you care?"

"No!" Sephiroth smiled, and sucked his mouth into another kiss.

"No?... you... don't..." Cloud spoke between the sweet presses of Sephiroth's mouth. "Seph... you wan... wanna... we sho... stop!... talk... to me!"

Sephiroth gave him a patient smile. "Why don't you just shut the fuck up and let me kiss you?"

"What's happening here?" Cloud whimpered. "What are we going to be? Where is this heading?"

"It's heading wherever you want it to go." Sephiroth raised his voice slightly, utterly fixated on Cloud's lips and working not to continue devouring them. "You know how you feel better now, nothing hurts? Having you here means nothing hurts for _me_ anymore, either. Just having you here, nothing can ever hurt again."

Cloud made a sound of confusion. "What are you talking about?"

"I love you!" Sephiroth laughed, and it was the first joyous sound that had ever hit the walls of his empty cell. "I've been waiting for you in purgatory, Cloud. Do you think I'm hung up on the minute detail of whether or not you love me _back_? I know you hate me, but I'm just fucking thrilled to be _near_ you! Someday you'll probably love me again, but in the meantime, who cares? Let's just do what feels good!"

"That's your big plan to win me back!?" Cloud cried.

"I'm sorry it's not better than that, but after waiting for you for seventy years, it's all I've got."

"... You really love me?" Cloud asked. "You're not just saying that to... leave here?"

Sephiroth found that notion funny. "And do what? I don't wanna do anything important. I don't wanna be anybody, or lead anybody. I just wanna be yours."

"... Why?"

"You're my soul mate," Sephiroth finally said aloud.

"Oh, please! You broke my heart! You left me alone!" Cloud swallowed, unable to stop fresh, hot tears from rolling down his cheeks. He brought the blanket to his eye and dabbed it, knowing how ugly he was when he cried. He tried to get it under control, and managed a stable voice to ask, "How can I ever trust you, Sephiroth?"

"Set up some terms. I'll agree to anything you want."

"Terms?"

"Terms!" Sephiroth let out another happy noise and pushed himself off of Cloud. "You don't know about that, yet!"

The loss of pressure and heat made Cloud desperate for physical contact, and he quickly sat up to collect the blanket and hide himself in. "Where are you going?"

"We need paper!" Sephiroth cried, digging through drawers until he retrieved a pad and pen. He returned to the bed and sat across from Cloud, and began to write. "We make this testimony in the presence of the Almighty Universe. I, Sephiroth, earthly son of Vincent Valentine and Lucrecia Crescent and Jenova, promise to adhere to the following terms set up by Cloud Strife, earthly son of April Strife and Aiden Donahue..."

Sephiroth then presented Cloud with the paper.

Cloud slowly took it. "What am I supposed to do?"

"Write down anything you need to feel good about this."

"About this?" Cloud slapped the pad against the bed in absolute frustration. "What is this, exactly? Tell me what you want from me!"

"Give me another chance."

Cloud threw his head back and gasped at the ceiling. "You want a relationship with me? An actual relationship? Are you fucking kidding?"

"I've spent seventy years drowning. Gimme some air, already."

Cloud narrowed his eyes into a glare. "Who says you deserve to breathe?"

"Nobody," Sephiroth's lips thinned together, and he took the pad back from Cloud. He stared down at it, folding and unfolding a tiny corner of the page. "I mean it when I say that you don't ever have to love me back. You can put me on a leash and drag me through shit, beat me senseless, humiliate me in front of the entire Universe. I'll be the happiest dog you ever saw, because I'll be _your_ dog."

A furious hunger raged inside Cloud, a self-destructive and instantly-reincarnating storm of lust and hate and the best, most potent parts of love. All the anger of an old man was meeting all the senseless hormones of a teenager, while a rational adult somewhere in the middle was flying too high on emotion to mediate.

He wanted Sephiroth terribly, so terribly his body was rigid, his skin was tingling, his lips were thirsty for more of those hot, desperate kisses. Red faced and barely able to stay in place, Cloud sighed a whisper, "I didn't think death was going to be like _this_."

"Like what?"

Cloud rubbed his eyes wearily. "I thought I'd be like... running through a field of flowers with Aerith or something."

"She's waiting to run through a field with you. You gotta deal with me first, though," Sephiroth held out the paper to Cloud. "You're the boss. Just... write down what you want."

Cloud took the paper and began drumming with the pen to distract himself from the surging fire destroying whatever was left of his sanity. He was obviously going as crazy as Sephiroth was, to even consider dating him again. "What's up with this stupid contract thing? Can I sue you in Lifestream Court if you try to kill me again?"

"Sort of," Sephiroth nodded. "Only you don't sue me; the Universe will enforce whatever terms we have. Anything you want. You can... you can write that you don't want me to exist anymore, and I'll fucking disappear forever."

"Sounds like a good idea!" Cloud threatened.

"If you're not even gonna give me another chance, go ahead!"

Cloud was unable to keep a grin off his face despite his best efforts. "I'm... I'm not saying that I'm agreeing to a relationship. But I like the idea of having some Universe-enforced power over you... scumbag."

"That's more like it!" Sephiroth made a small bounce in place on the mattress and eagerly scooted closer.

"Shut up and let me think!" Cloud brought the pen to his mouth and thought for a moment, angrily glancing between the paper, Sephiroth, and the ceiling. Finally he brought the pen to the paper and wrote for several minutes.

When he was finished, he handed the pad to Sephiroth. "This is what I want."

Sephiroth read it aloud. "If ever I, Cloud Strife, feel that Sephiroth is putting innocent people, myself, or himself in danger, he will... transform into a harmless kitten for 24 earthly hours... Whereby I can contain him safely and he will have time to contemplate the ramifications of his actions... Are you fucking kidding me?"

"You said you're my pet," Cloud reminded him.

"This is some emasculating bullshit." Sephiroth let out a gust of air. "Why don't you just cut my balls off?"

"Because I like those where they are," Cloud blurted. His redness returned, and he grabbed the paper back and continued writing.

"What else?" Sephiroth crossed his arms and leaned forward, pleased that at least Cloud could admit to liking his balls, if not the rest of him.

"Shut up," Cloud muttered, focused on his task. After a few moments, he handed the paper back.

With a soft groan, Sephiroth read it aloud again. "If after his kitten time he decides that he still wants to pursue the danger, I will consider giving him my support...? If I don't support it, he can do as he pleases and I will not stop him."

Sephiroth looked up from the paper with a gaze that smoldered so amorously, Cloud felt a fresh tear run down his cheek. "Seph... Sephiroth. I-I'm not saying I'm going to destroy planets with you. I'm saying that if you really, _rationally_ want to do something that I don't agree with... I'll at least listen to you. I'll try to understand."

Sephiroth whispered so softly that it almost had to be read on his lips to hear, "Thank you."

Cloud reached out for the paper, and wrote a few more lines before handing it back. "I want this, too."

Sephiroth brushed his fingers against Cloud's as he took the paper back, scooting even closer to him on the mattress. "If I'm to spend any length of eternity with Sephiroth, I require... matching tattoos on our flesh. I, Cloud Strife, want a black feather on my shoulder blade to remind Sephiroth that he should always have my back, as I'm smarter than he is and better at rational decision making. Sephiroth must get a white feather on his chest, over his heart... which will serve as a reminder that his actions have the power to break my heart …

Oh, God. You are such a dramatic asshole," Sephiroth declared. "But fine. I agree. Can I make a term of my own?"

"No!" Cloud raised his chin defiantly. "You don't get any. If you want to be with me, you agree to this and feel lucky about it."

"I feel more than lucky... I feel like..."

"Like you're getting away with murder?" Cloud asked darkly.

Sephiroth rolled his eyes slightly. "I did them all a favor. They were living in _Nibelheim_."

Cloud snorted on laughter and immediately covered his mouth. "That's not funny."

Sephiroth read everything on the pad to himself again. He tapped his thumbs in contemplation, and finally nodded. "I agree to the terms. Happily."

"Out of curiosity, what would your terms be...? If you had my permission to make any?"

"I would just change the wording right here," Sephiroth answered, pointing to the final term that Cloud had written. "It shouldn't be 'any length of eternity'... it should be all of eternity."

"... Really?" Cloud asked, clicking the pen several times.

"Yeah, really," Sephiroth gave him back the paper. "But I can work with this. It's just a chance, right? You're not agreeing to a relationship, just a chance."

"Don't make me regret this, Sephiroth."

"I swear I won't."

"Should we sign it?" Cloud asked, waiting for the piece of paper to burst into unholy flames or something.

"I don't think so. It should already be set... I've had to make them with a lot of people since I died the last time," He took the paper from Cloud, touching it with gentle fingertips as though it was a precious thing.

Cloud watched his cat slit eyes flick back and forth as he reread what was written, and became curious of what else they might have seen during their time apart. "I want to know what happened to you when you died. Every time you died."

Sephiroth gave him a warm smirk. "I'll fill you in some other time. We have plenty of it."

"... I kind of feel like we just got married," Cloud's eyes raised to Sephiroth's, and he held that stare for the first time since he'd arrived in the Lifestream. There was no lustful Jenova green there, but rather a cool metallic gray that Cloud felt comfortable becoming a little lost in. "Think we should kiss, again?"

"Thought you'd never ask," Sephiroth smiled, letting the paper float to the floor by the bed and craning his face towards Cloud's.

Cloud took Sephiroth's face in both hands and stopped short of his lips, still glaring into his eyes. "If you hurt me, I will leave you forever. I will, Sephiroth. I'm not afraid to live without you."

"You can put the fear into me, Cloud, but you don't have to..." Sephiroth's lids lowered. "I've done enough living without you. It sucks."

"Stop calling me Cloud."

"Wh - "

"Baby. You used to call me baby," Cloud reminded him.

"I didn't think you were ready for pet names," Sephiroth replied, then swallowed. "I'm still waiting for my punch in the throat for kissing you."

"Say my name... or I will punch you in the throat."

"Baby," Sephiroth smiled.

"I missed that," Cloud said on a quick gust of breath.

"I missed you," Sephiroth replied, slowly drawing the words out. "I've been in pain without you. I wasn't burning in hell like you wanted me to be... but living alone in this room has been worse."

Cloud didn't respond with words, but the smile he generated spoke volumes.

"Yeah, I've been miserable," Sephiroth grinned. "I thought you might like that."

Cloud touched his lips to Sephiroth's, and felt his counterpart's mouth open like a starving black hole. He fed his tongue into that void once, making his long, large body tremble with the ache for more before he pulled away.

Sephiroth's lips were still parted, and he didn't lean back. He waited there, hanging in mid air for another taste. Instead of giving it, Cloud eased onto his back, gently tugging Sephiroth's shirt to follow him.

Sephiroth was eager to pin Cloud down, even if it was token dominance. Sephiroth gave him a series of warm, ravishing kisses that pushed him down into the mattress. This time Cloud spread his legs, cautiously curling them around Sephiroth's slim hips and pulling him close. Sephiroth didn't dare move against him, though; Cloud was giving him gift after unexpected gift, and he didn't want greed to scare his precious lover away.

Besides, purgatory had given him a new appreciation for patience. Sephiroth liked the idea of taking his time with Cloud, of getting to know him and his body again slowly. He was only tasting Cloud's lips, a relatively small area of his body... he had time stretched out forever to taste every inch of the rest.

"You're different," Cloud mused, turning his head to let Sephiroth kiss his jaw.

"Yeah. But how?" Sephiroth asked, content to kiss and lick the length of his smooth, tan neck.

"Gentle," Cloud said, shuddering a little as ticklish kisses popped against his neck and shoulder. "I like it."

"You want more?" Sephiroth ventured, making his lower body a little heavier between Cloud's legs.

"I... just want this," Cloud fibbed, as his body was begging for much more. Kisses were manageable for the moment; he wasn't sure how he might react to anything else. "Just keep kissing me."

"Where can I kiss?" Sephiroth purred.

Cloud answered with a sharp punch to the side of Sephiroth's head. "Don't push it!"

"Okay!" Sephiroth defended, wincing a little as he raised a hand to rub yet another sore spot Cloud had given him.

Cloud took Sephiroth's head and turned it gently, kissing against that spot. He felt sharp teeth sink into his shoulder, and moaned deeply against Sephiroth's hair. Cloud curled his arms around his neck in a quick embrace before he inched his hands down until they curiously crawled up into Sephiroth's shirt.

Cloud pulled up, peeling it off of Sephiroth's back and then over his head. Sephiroth seemed quite surprised by this, but obediently moved his arms and assisted in ridding himself of the shirt.

Cloud was stricken by the sight of Sephiroth’s smooth, pale skin and tight flesh, and couldn't resist running his hand over him appreciatively. He was thinner than he'd been in life, and it looked good on his long, lanky frame. He looked natural and relaxed, and more comfortable in his skin than he'd been in the heavier, muscle-loaded General's body.

Still, Cloud clucked, "Too skinny."

It was then that Cloud noticed the small tattoo. It was the perfect outline of a soft feather, and seemed to be innocently blowing across his pale skin and just paused over his heart. Cloud put his hand over it, and felt a steady, quick beat through the wall of Sephiroth’s chest.

Sephiroth stared down at where Cloud was actually choosing to touch his bare skin. Their eyes met, and Cloud self-consciously pulled his hand back.

"Did you really stop loving me?" Sephiroth asked.

"I dunno," Cloud avoided the real answer, a shard of truth dawning over the lies he'd been telling himself for decades. "I'm just... mad at you."

"Why?"

Cloud leveled him a dubious glare.

Sephiroth narrowed one eye in doubt. "Still? For that?"

"For burning down my hometown and killing everybody, murdering my best hag and then trying to kill me?"

"C'mon, you've gotten over that. What are you really so mad about?"

"You... you never..." Cloud had trouble continuing, and his lips pressed together in an effort to hold back a rising sound in his throat.

"What?" Sephiroth encouraged, moving a piece of blonde hair out of his eyes.

"... I haven't felt you..." Cloud said, his voice cracking as tears streaked down his cheeks. It was humiliating, and he swallowed down a sudden terrible ache in his throat as he wiped his face dry. "In so long. Not at all. I never... felt you at all."

"I've been busy being dead," Sephiroth offered in gentle jest.

"No. When you died the first couple times, I still felt you all the time," Cloud remembered, helpless against a sob as more tears cascaded down his face. "It was like you were still right next to me. I dreamt about you every night... I felt like if I focused my eyes enough I could see you, or if I could just make the world shut up for a moment I might hear you. And then after Edge... you were a million miles away. Not even any distance I could understand... you just didn't exist anymore. Gone. I guess you were here, but... it hurt."

Sephiroth tried to choose his words carefully, because he knew exactly what Cloud was referring to. "... I thought it'd be better if I left you alone."

"So you did it on purpose?"

"You got together with Rufus, you were perfect together. I stepped back - "

"Perfect? Rufus is an asshole!" Cloud bellowed. "You're telling me Rufus was my consolation prize? Are you fucking joking?"

"He _is_ an asshole," Sephiroth admitted. "But he gave you some good years, right? It was better than being haunted by me."

"No, it wasn't!" Cloud's arms wound around Sephiroth's neck and yanked him into another deep kiss. It felt so good to be kissed on purpose that Sephiroth sighed into it and allowed Cloud to ease him onto his back. He straddled Sephiroth's lap, and appeared happy for the first time since he'd woken up in the Lifestream. "... So you didn't actually go anywhere?"

"Where was I supposed to go?" Sephiroth rubbed his hands up Cloud's sides and finally worked up the nerve to push his fingers up into Cloud's undershirt to tickle against warm, soft skin.

Cloud arched a little at the touch. "... You really waited for me all this time? You loved me the whole time?"

"All day, every day." Sephiroth laced his hands at the small of Cloud's back, as close to his perfect little ass as he dared to touch. "You thought that I abandoned you and went off somewhere without you?"

"I guess. I just wanted to feel something of you... to dream about you. Or smell you...or fight you..." Cloud suddenly pushed his face against Sephiroth's neck and inhaled. He stayed there, breathing for a few moments before he spoke against Sephiroth’s skin. "... I missed you."

Sephiroth made no reply, only laid there with Cloud resting on top of him and his face full of blonde spikes. They were tickling his face and partially shoved up his nose, and he didn't want it any other way. It'd been too long since he was irritated by Cloud's hair, and he relished the opportunity.

"... Sephiroth?"

"Hm?" He invited, too content to speak.

"... Do people have sex, here? In the Lifestream?"

Sephiroth smiled into his hair. "People like us?"

Cloud huffed. "You know what I mean."

"What do you think?" Sephiroth asked in a hushed tone.

"I think... people might," Cloud answered, if the hardness in his pants and the burning desire he was resisting was any indication, he had the capability. But the idea seemed funny, considering he was dead and all.

"I know what you're thinking. We should wait a little bit."

"I wasn't thinking that!" Cloud lifted himself up onto his elbows and have Sephiroth a piercing glare. "I was thinking ... dead people don't really have a reason to do it."

"Do you feel dead, Cloud?"

"... No."

"You're not."

"Oh... well... good." Cloud found himself smiling at this tiny revelation. "What about you, though?"

"I'm not dead anymore."

"We're gonna have to break you out of this habit. This talking in riddles thing."

"Want me to be blunt?"

"Yes!"

"There's a disconnection of the body when you stay in purgatory. No food, no drink, no body function. Your mouth is the first thing I've tasted in seventy years, and I'm satisfied with whatever you want to give me."

"Th... Then... why do you think we should wait?" Cloud stumbled over his words a bit, trying not to make direct eye contact. "I mean, I agree that we should... but I just wanna know why you think we should. If that makes sense…?"

"I think we should wait because you punched me in the throat."

Cloud snorted at that, and indulged in a long chuckle that grew into tinkling laughter.

Sephiroth was still sore all over from the attack, but the lovely sound of his lover's laugh definitely had a healing element. "Punch me all day if it makes you so happy."

"I'm sorry! Did you even see it coming, though?"

"Hell no, I didn't see that coming!" Sephiroth admitted. "I thought you were gonna wake up and... well, it doesn't matter."

"What'd you think I'd do? Kiss you?"

Sephiroth's shoulder hitched a bit, and his head bobbed in slightly embarrassed agreement. "I hoped."

Cloud's eyes fell shut as he leaned down to cover Sephiroth's mouth in another lingering kiss. He burrowed both arms underneath his lover’s head to envelop him in a full body hug, taking the time to slide his tongue as far into Sephiroth's mouth as it would go.

He felt Sephiroth's lower body begin to grind up against him, a very hard, familiar shape in his pants bump up and nuzzle between his thighs. Cloud was out of practice at this, and the volcanic rush of desire was both brand new and nostalgic.

He wasn't prepared to deal with the kind of emotions sex was going to drag out of him. But then again... there was a hard, hot body underneath him, writhing up against him and kissing him back like it was necessary for survival. Sephiroth's fingers and hands raked up and down his back, every so often pausing to cup his ass and push it down against that pulsing hardness.

Sephiroth then lifted up on the hem of Cloud's shirt. Their lips pulled apart, and Cloud opened his eyes to look down into pure lust burning in Sephiroth's fierce catslit eyes.

"Turn around," Sephiroth told him, his voice a dark tint of desire. "Show me your back."

Cloud straightened up and pulled up on the shirt, exposing himself as he tossed it over the side of the bed. He carefully shifted off of Sephiroth's lap and turned, looking over his shoulder. "Is it there?"

Sephiroth ran his hand over honey tan skin, seeing a familiar, dark feather gracing his sharp shoulderblade. "Yeah, it's there."

"Does it look good?" Cloud asked, trying to peer down.

"It's sexy..." Sephiroth told him, running his hand over the new tattoo and around to Cloud's front. "I'll get a bathroom. You can check out a mirror, take a bath."

"How long will it take to get it?" Cloud wondered, imagining contractors, plumbing, planning and time.

"It's probably already there."

"Huh?"

"Oh, that's another thing I'm supposed to tell you. If you want something, you can just will it to exist."

"So you can have anything you want? And your place looks like... this?" Cloud's eyes judgmentally moved about the small, totally empty room.

"This was a prison. But... you're here. So it's not anymore."

Cloud pointed at the random little electric guitar with no amp, "Where'd you get that?"

"Zack gave it to me," Sephiroth answered, brushing the topic away. "Go check out the bathroom."

Cloud looked doubtful. "You're messing with me."

"Go look. It's next to the closet."

Cloud didn't remember seeing any closet... but when he turned his head to look, there were two doors where last time he looked stood a blank wall. Curiously, he shifted away from Sephiroth and climbed off the bed to approach the two doors.

He opened one, and found the bathroom that had been in Sephiroth's loft a lifetime ago.

Cloud gasped aloud and stepped inside in utter disbelief, and paused to look out of the small window behind the toilet to see a street view of Midgar's upper plate as it'd been when he was a teenager. There were no cars or people, but every detail was perfect, even the pollution. The season seemed to be Autumn.

"How did you make this?" Cloud wondered.

"I just did. You can change it," Sephiroth said from the bed. "That's the only bathroom I remember well enough to make."

"No, I like it. It's perfect," Cloud smiled as he touched a half-used bottle of shower gel sitting in the shower.

He then quickly went to the mirror, fully expecting to find an old man staring back at him. Instead he was a picture of health and youth, if extremely tousled from rolling around in bed with Sephiroth. His lips were slightly swollen and kissed red, and he couldn't help smiling back at himself.

This was the person who loved Sephiroth. He was the person who idolized SOLDIERs, who shrank his jeans down to second-skin tightness, who had nothing but the most picturesque, non-alien possessed boyfriend, and who had great expectations for the future.

Cloud bit his lip and smiled wider as a brand new list of expectations were now possible. Sephiroth was undoubtedly pure evil. Cloud knew that, now... and he _liked_ it.

He turned to see the result of his little contract with Sephiroth, and the smile broke into a grin. One of Sephiroth's black feathers was made permanent on his skin, the perfect size and done in loving detail. It was definitely the easiest tattoo he'd ever gotten in his life.

He rubbed his hands over his naked arms and torso. He'd have time to fill everything in again. And change them if he ever wanted more, or got tired of them! And maybe in the Lifestream tattoos would always be spelled correctly...

Cloud poked his head back into the small room to find Sephiroth lounging where he'd left him, hands laced behind his head and seemingly at peace with the world.

He leaned against the door, his hip cocked and feeling better by the second. "Wake up!"

Sephiroth's eyes split open, and his neon gaze was fixed on him as a smile put a playful crack in the porcelain of his face.

An awful thought occurred to Cloud... what if he was sleeping? What if this all was a wistful old man's fever dream? It was too good and sweet to be true... surely he'd wake up back in his bed in the martial arts studio and have to force his aching, used and abused body up to face another long day. His days seemed longer and longer the older he became, and he knew he was confused about certain things.

He had watched himself slide into dementia for years. This realistic dream was a symptom of that... it had to be.

Cloud wanted this to be his reality... if it wasn't... what would he have wished to do differently? If this was just the sweetest, most vivid dream of his long life... he wanted it to be a lucid one with no hesitation.

Sephiroth grunted as a small, compact body landed on his from a running start across the room. He braced himself, expecting another angry attack from his recently deceased lover.

Instead, Cloud was kissing him and wriggling out of his pants. "Make love to me!"

"Hey, I though we agreed - !" Sephiroth stopped speaking with a gasp as Cloud reached down into his pants, seizing a part of his anatomy that hadn't been touched by himself or any other since he died. He shook off the temporary spell of shock and grabbed Cloud's wrist. "Stop."

"There's no time! I know I'm dreaming! I could wake up any second!"

"You're already awake," Sephiroth told him, taking Cloud's hands and forcing them still.

"I don't know that for sure!" Cloud cried. "If we're really here, what's there to regret about it? And if we're not, I want to pretend while I have the chance!"

"Cloud... baby," Sephiroth soothed him, pushing the hair off his forehead and trying to still his frantic hands. "Don't do this to yourself. Believe what you're seeing, what you're feeling."

Cloud began to calm down, and exhaled slowly. "I just want this to be _real_. I wanna feel you."

Sephiroth pushed his tongue passed Cloud's lips, overtaking him in a sudden kiss. "If you really want me to make love to you... I'll do it. But not to prove to you that I'm real. That even sounds stupid to say."

"Is there any way to prove it? That this is real? That I'm not just dreaming?" Cloud asked.

"There might be."

"How?" Cloud asked.

"Come on," Sephiroth invited, pulling Cloud up by the hand and leading him to the closet. Clothes they used to wear in life were hanging there, and Sephiroth began to sift through the garments.

"Where are we going?" Cloud asked.

"To see Aerith. You're a little mental right now, and she can help you. She's helped me before... I'm still crazy of course, but I feel better after she - "

"Sephiroth," Cloud murmured, closing his hands over those of his lover. "I don't want to go anywhere, or see anyone else right now."

"Are you sure?"

"I wanna stay here, just for a little while longer. I know seeing people will help, but... I feel too raw to be around other people."

"Okay, I get it. You want me to leave you alone for a while?"

"No," Cloud said quickly. "Stay here with me."

"I have nowhere else to be."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

A/N

1 - Sometimes I just feel sappy and want to write this kind of shit. It doesn't have anything to do with Blonde Ambition, I SWEAR.

2 - I'm probably going to write some more afterlife stuff in the future, but I don't really know when. Kind of like this one, I'll squeeze it out randomly.


	3. The Asylum part 1

For two entire months of Earth time, they didn't leave Sephiroth's cell once. They didn't even open the door.

The slow drag of time in Purgatory was wonderful with Cloud’s company, and Sephiroth's barren cell bloomed into a home. They built room upon room together, getting the hang of making matter with their minds until they had an almost perfect replica of the loft they once shared in Midgar.

When they weren't imagining and creating the tiny details they remembered from their old apartment, they had plenty to fight about. They both had a way of provoking reaction from each other, from angry fighting about the past, to then laughing long and hard about it, to then crying a little over all the lost time, and then to reveling in the joy of being able to kiss each other again.

Their relationship felt more honest now that they'd come to know each other as mortal enemies, because it exposed so much more than just being lovers. They were no longer the puppy love fueled, rose-tinted versions of themselves that they’d been before the Nibelheim crisis. They had put each other through some gruesome, dark shit, and they both knew that they were capable of so much worse. Cloud was very, _very_ into Sephiroth’s dark side, and it was a relief to finally be open about it. It was kind of the missing piece to the puzzle of who they both were, and what they both expected out of a relationship that was going to last an eternity.

Their lives would never be boring.

To Sephiroth and Cloud, love included beating each other to death. Love included impaling each other on seven foot long swords. It included seeing the ugliest parts of each other’s heart, and being fucking turned on by it. Love meant spending sixty long years apart and still feeling nostalgic for their last touch on Earth, even if it was on the other end of a sharp weapon. Love meant that Sephiroth could swallow his pride for the one he needed most, and that Cloud was capable of accepting an apology.

Being with Cloud again woke up parts of Sephiroth's personality he forgot were there after sitting in a room by himself for so long. He was growing out of all the solemn riddle-speak and moping around, just like Cloud was growing into feeling a full spectrum of emotions again.

It was exhausting to be in love again, but in a wonderful way. They spent most of their time in bed, but didn't engage in anything further than kisses.

Cloud was still physically and emotionally drained from his death and rebirth in the Lifestream, and all the drama that followed. What Cloud needed was to be kissed and to be held, and Sephiroth was beyond satisfied to do it for hours. There was eternity to rediscover the rest of the spectrum of physical pleasure, so why hurry?

The first month passed by slowly and beautifully, but the second month brought a slightly uncomfortable change. Activity taxed their energy almost immediately, so they just laid around, made out, and shared meandering conversations in a lethargic fog. Exhaustion and fatigue seemed to be ruling them, and they found themselves sleeping more and more, longer and longer.

"Should we leave here?" Cloud asked one night, or what felt like night. "I'm starting to feel a little guilty."

"Why?"

"I haven't seen anyone else since the day I got here. I'm sure my mom's worrying."

"They're fine. They know where we are," Sephiroth answered, pulling Cloud into a tighter embrace from behind. "… I want you to myself for a little longer."

Cloud smiled with his eyes closed, "If we're not careful, we might stay like this forever."

"Would that be so bad?" Sephiroth asked, kissing the back of Cloud's neck simply because it was there and he could.

"Not at all," Cloud answered, his eyes drawing shut as his body drank in the indulgent feeling of being in Sephiroth's arms. He was never going to take Sephiroth for granted ever again. "… I kind of love being here. But I feel lazy, though. The bad kind of lazy. But... I'm still too tired to deal with other people. I just wanna stay here with you."

“You deserve to have what you want,” was Sephiroth’s reasoning. He didn’t deserve any such thing himself, but he was glad to be Cloud’s pillow during his well-earned respite from reality.

“I want you,” Cloud told him, turning over to lay his cheek against Sephiroth’s collarbone as he cuddled in close. That much movement sapped the tiny bit of energy he had, and he almost immediately began to doze. He sucked in air suddenly as he caught himself, and tilted his head just enough to kiss the underside of Sephiroth’s chin. “Mm... I’m sorry. I’m falling asleep on you again.”

"Go to sleep, baby. We'll do something tomorrow," Sephiroth lied. They hadn't even left the bed at all in days.

Cloud made a thoughtful sound, and struggled to make his mouth move to speak, "… What do you wanna do tomorrow?"

"Lay here and make out."

"Mmm... can't wait..." Cloud smiled, running his fingers over Sephiroth’s broad chest and tight, tiny nipples before his hand went slack and he began to snore softly.

It was almost prophetic that they had that conversation when they did, because they were awakened from their final nap in Purgatory by a firm knocking at the door. They were both awake a long while before either moved or spoke.

The knocking was intermittent, but persistent. Cloud finally swallowed, "Do you know who that might be?"

"No," Sephiroth shifted up onto one elbow, and it took a monumental effort to move. "... Nobody's ever come here before. It's probably for you."

Cloud rolled over onto his stomach, pulling up a pillow to hide beneath. "Tell them to go away."

"Really?" Sephiroth frowned.

"Get rid of them." Cloud burrowed under the blankets until he was completely concealed. "Then come back to me."

"Alright," Sephiroth yawned, taking a long while to gather the strength to stand up. He was wearing sweatpants and that was all he was planning on putting on for whoever was rude enough to disturb their new, peaceful lifestyle.

In the dark and on the way to the front door, Sephiroth walked right into a wall. He searched for a light switch, but couldn't find it right away as it was on the wrong spot. When he finally illuminated the room, he gasped aloud to find that all of their hard work to make their old loft was gone... it was the small, empty cell once again.

Sephiroth thumped his head against the bare wall. They were being evicted.

The knocking on the door didn't give him a chance to make peace with this. It became longer, louder, and refused to be ignored. Sephiroth turned the light back off for Cloud's comfort, and stomped to the door.

Sephiroth jerked it open shirtless and with his sweatpants exposing a little too much of his hips, his hair completely askew and wincing against the light from outside. He was greeted by the concerned faces of Cloud's mother, Aerith, Zack, Genesis, and a small group of people who seemed to be high ranking in the Lifestream. They were dressed in formal robes, and looked like they were going to be a major pain in the ass.

"What?" Sephiroth growled.

"Hi Seph," Cloud's mother greeted, her eyes peering past him into the dark apartment. "… Where's my son?"

"Sleeping..." Sephiroth replied, suddenly needing to lean on the door to support himself. The action dropped his sweatpants down past any acceptable level.

"Hey man, are you okay?" Zack asked, coming forward to pull the waistband of Sephiroth’s pants up a few inches.

"Yeah." He hid his fatigue as best he could, and raised his chin up. "Do you need something?"

"We are the Lifestream's liaison with Purgatory," One of the old wise dudes said. "You were supposed to leave Purgatory when Mr. Strife arrived... why have you remained?"

"We like it here."

"You shouldn't have stayed so long," Aerith told him gently. “You’re really sick. We need to get you out of here.”

"You specifically told me to bring him back here," Sephiroth reminded her.

"Yeah, but you were supposed to leave after you patched things up..." Aerith gave his half naked body a once over with her eyes before beaming at him with an excited grin. "I'm assuming you guys patched things up?"

"Yeah," Sephiroth nodded, offering no more detail than that. His eyes felt too heavy to hold open.

"Well... we haven't seen or heard from you guys in a really long time," Cloud's mother frowned. "... Is Cloud alright?"

"We're fine. So I'm guessing we're being kicked out of here?" Sephiroth opened his eyes just to narrow them at the Lifestream liaisons.

"It's a lot more positive than that. I'm sure you will find that the Lifestream is much more suitable than this place," One of the younger looking guardians interjected.

"We like it here," Sephiroth repeated.

"You're not a ghost anymore, man," Zack frowned at his friend who seemed to be close to collapsing. "And you look like shit."

"Don’t touch me," Sephiroth mildly defended while allowing Zack to support some of his weight. In his rational mind, he knew this level of fatigue was not okay, and swallowed as he pushed Zack away to lean on the door frame. "... This is Purgatory doing this to us, right?"

"It's one of the side effects of staying as a solid, living entity. You'll start to feel better in the Lifestream," The young guardian assured.

Sephiroth's eyebrows drew together in annoyance. It had been nice having Cloud all to himself, especially spending so much time in bed together. He knew it had to come to an end sometime. Besides... having the energy to actually _do_ something in bed would be more fun than just lying there unconscious together.

Sephiroth pushed off the doorframe and called, "Cloud. Gotta get up."

"Why?" the muffled, irritated response before there was a little cry of shock. "Seph! What happened to the loft?"

"We gotta go now," Sephiroth told him in lieu of an explanation, then turned to the liaisons. "Where are we supposed to go, anyway?"

"Cloud can choose a home anywhere he wants... I'm afraid you're not going to be able to join him right away, however."

"Prison?" Sephiroth assumed.

"Don't take it the wrong way; you've already served your time here in Purgatory. But before you're released, you'll be going to a therapeutic environment," The guardian corrected. "For a short while, just to transition you."

Cloud appeared in the doorway beside Sephiroth, shirtless, disheveled and unhappy. His expression lifted when he saw who was at the door. "Hi momma! Sorry I didn't call! Can you even call in the Lifestream, or...?"

Cloud's mom came forward to wrap him in a tight hug. "Don't worry about it, sweetie. Are you happy?"

"I'm getting there!" Cloud closed his eyes and leaned into the hug for a moment before smiling at the others. "So what's up? I heard something about therapy?"

"It's for me," Sephiroth wound an arm around Cloud. "I'm going away for a while."

Cloud's eyes narrowed, "Going where? What are you talking about?"

"You're both being kicking out of Purgatory," Zack smiled. "That's good news! You two look terrible."

"Shut up, Zack!" Cloud reached out to push his arm with a smile. He'd of course noticed the small group of old, ancient-looking dudes at their door, and finally acknowledged them with a small nod. "So where are Sephiroth and I going, exactly?"

"You of course don’t have to go with him, Mr. Strife. We're taking Sephiroth to a community with other people like himself," one of the guardians told him, speaking with a slow wisdom. "He'll learn tools and lessons that will help him with rational thinking - "

"No thank you," Cloud responded politely. "We aren’t interested in that."

The group of ancient men all looked at each other in confusion, before one of them spoke softly. "Sephiroth is still very dangerous; we're simply going to contain him until he's able to -"

"I said _no_ ," Cloud slipped his fingers between Sephiroth's. "If he does something crazy again, I'll correct him. That's my job, right? He already did his time alone in Purgatory, you're not putting him away in a kennel. If he misbehaves, I'll beat it out of him."

"That's not the way to deal with the problems Sephiroth has."

"It's the _only_ way to deal with him!" Cloud barked, feet firmly planted with his arms locked around Sephiroth's waist. "He's _my_ problem, and he always has been. I want him just the way he is."

"He will never be fully sane," The orderly told him gently. "But we can't just release him into the Universe after spending so long here. He's been a ghost all this time, and now that he’s a solid entity he still hasn’t left this room... when he gets outside he could become disoriented, lost - "

"That won’t happen! If he gets lost, I'll find him!" Cloud insisted, not knowing at all what it meant to become lost in the Lifestream.

"This is not your decision," The Guardian told him, folding his hands in front of himself in finality. "The Lifestream is not Sephiroth's natural environment. He must be brought to freedom slowly, or else you risk losing him eternally. And we risk losing _you_... and you are very important to us."

A desperate noise erupted from Cloud's throat, and he was too exhausted to stop himself from sobbing. "I don't _want_ to be important to you! I don't even know you people!"

One of the guardians had had enough of this, and approached Sephiroth with a hand outstretched. "Come along quickly. Miss Gainsborough, please restrain Mr. Strife while we - "

"Get the fuck away from him!" Cloud protested with a yelping snarl, putting himself in front of Sephiroth and ready to fight to defend him. "You can't let me see Sephiroth again, and then just take him away to neuter him and brainwash him! I won't let you!"

"It's nothing like that! You can see him as much as you want!" A younger looking guardian assured, completely exhausted from this altercation. Negative emotions were almost unheard of in the Lifestream, so dealing with a paranoid person like Cloud was totally unexpected.

"I'm going with him, then!" Cloud insisted.

"You have to let him go, Cloud. Sephiroth needs this," Aerith said, trying to calm her friend. "You can visit every single day."

"How long will they take him?" Cloud roared, yanking Sephiroth into a desperate embrace. He held the man like he'd never see him again, because that’s just how time felt in Purgatory. It had warped his sense of perception, and facing the hours all alone felt like Hell. Cloud was suddenly very aware of how Sephiroth must have felt during all the time that Cloud had lived without him. He’d been so wrapped up in his own misery that he didn’t even consider how long Sephiroth had suffered and waited for him, and sobbed hard against his lover's chest.

Aerith was moved to tears by her friend's anguish. "How long?... I don't really know how to...?"

The guardians all frowned at each other, as the question of time didn't really mean anything to them. Cloud was still thinking in Earth and Purgatory terms, and it was a horrible shame for a hero like him to suffer so much for no reason. Cloud seemed to relish the drama and pain as he bawled against Sephiroth, clutching onto him miserably.

The youngest one had the keenest memory of time and spoke up, "Not long! Just... well, think of it as rehab on Earth. That's usually a month or two, right? Not much different than that. Before you know it, you'll both be at home!"

Cloud continued to cry against Sephiroth's chest. "I just got him back! I can't let him go!"

"He's not going far, and like Miss Gainsborough said, there are visiting hours every single day! We're just going to help him with this transition. This man has been in isolation as long as you've been alive. Being an actual solid person again can be pretty awkward. I mean... look at him..."

Cloud pulled his face away from Sephiroth's bare chest, which was now dripping with his tears. Cloud looked up at him to find that his lover was wearing a shit eating grin, and had been the entire time.

Sephiroth didn't give a fuck about staying in a “therapeutic environment” as long as a life with Cloud was the end result. As a fun bonus, Cloud was yelling at people on his behalf and weeping against the reality that they'd be spending time apart.

Cloud was fighting for him. Cloud was crying for him. Cloud wanted to be with him. As far as Sephiroth was concerned, it didn't get any better than that.

Cloud blinked up tearily at Sephiroth's lidded, satisfied expression and had to notice that he looked a little... sociopathic. "Are you okay with this, Seph?"

Sephiroth let out a short laugh. "If I say no, will you keep yelling at them?"

 

...................

 

In the Lifestream asylum Sephiroth was given the privilege of his own room, but not much else.

He lived alongside dictators, demons, monsters, serial killers, and super villains who were also on the road to becoming better people. Nobody in the asylum was free until they completed a series of tasks assigned to them by the Lifestream's wisest elders, and there was no bullshitting them.

Some of the people there would never be released, but Sephiroth was determined to make quick work of the program.

Sephiroth was a functional person, but just as much of a piece of shit in the Lifestream as he'd been in life. He was the same funny, warm, weird, irritating man that Cloud had never been able to stop loving. If left to their own devices, they probably would have just stayed in Purgatory together in Sephiroth's cell forever, secluded in their own little sprawling version of reality.

It had to come to an end, though.

On his own without Sephiroth to cling to, Cloud was becoming accustomed to the Lifestream, but still wasn't comfortable being around people. When he went out into more public domains, he was celebrated like a hero. It felt strange, and the gratitude of smiling strangers was unwelcome as salt on an open wound. It was difficult to accept positive reinforcement for his actions in life, because Cloud had jealously cursed these peaceful people and this idealistic place the entire time.

He didn't track down and fight Sephiroth to save the planet... he was heartbroken, and stalking his crazy ex-boyfriend to murder him in cold blood. In that endeavor, Cloud succeeded more than once. Saving the planet was purely coincidental.

Nobody mentioned that Cloud would probably do well with some therapy, too. They could guess what the response would be... and Cloud had been under enough stress since he'd died. The last thing they wanted to do was to make him feel any less at home.

Love and togetherness healed almost any wounds, as was evident in Cloud's instant attachment to his boyfriend. To take his mind off of Sephiroth's absence while he was checked into the asylum, Cloud was invited to begin creating a home in his little slice of the Lifestream.

He could choose to live anywhere he desired. There were cities, suburbs, small towns, and more secluded rural areas just like on Earth. He could live anywhere from a chocobo farm, to a sweet ass penthouse in a huge city.

None of that was really Cloud's style. He wandered for a while, and felt drawn towards the sounds of the Lifestream, the warm ocean tides and salty air. He chose a spot on the shore, where he could sit and smoke on his back porch, listening to records and watching the silky waves in solitude. It reminded him a little of the place on the beach he and Sephiroth liked to take vacations together.

Cloud spent most of his time lying on the beach without a care, daydreaming about Sephiroth's release from the mental institution. They would make a boat and sail on the Lifestream, they would swim with the devastatingly beautiful marine life, and they would play in the soft sand. They would never have to worry about money, or work, or obligation, or the Shin-Ra Electric Company’s evil impact on their lives.

They could also make love for days at a time if they wanted to... and Cloud really, _really_ wanted to. Coming to the Lifestream had replenished all the energy that Purgatory had sucked out of him, and Cloud wanted to put it to use. There were new neighbors on the beach in the far distance, who were also gay lovers... and were former professional soccer players and unabashed nudists. Cloud had a telescope set up in the house before he even had a couch.

Construction on the house and voyeurism gave Cloud a lot to focus on during Sephiroth’s absence. He'd been tempted to recreate the home he and Sephiroth had shared in Midgar, just like in the cell in Purgatory that they'd been robbed of. When he thought of the notion of home, it was always the first place that sprang first to mind. Tragedy had never touched Cloud's memories of that loft. They'd left the morning of the Nibelheim mission together with laundry to fold and unopened mail thrown just inside the threshold to be dealt with later.

After everything went down in Nibelheim, Cloud had been held captive first by the medical labs, and then by his own little brand of insanity that latched onto the idea that he was Zack Fair. By the time Cloud's memories returned, the loft had long since come crashing down onto the slums. Their clothes, pictures, movies, books, random shit picked up while traveling... every good memory he'd shared with Sephiroth was long gone. In a way, it had been preserved.

This was a new life and a fresh start, so Cloud began imagining an entirely new home. Whatever he thought of became real, and if he couldn't exactly imagine it, the Universe would offer up a possible solution. It was fun creating things... but would have been a lot more fun with Sephiroth. To make an entire house by himself took a lot of his energy.

So he just made the bones of the house, and a few essential rooms. It was a basic kitchen, bathroom and bedroom. He didn't decorate much... he would wait for Sephiroth to come home and help him.

Sephiroth wasn't far away, and even though Cloud was promised immediate visitation, he couldn't go see him for a little while. Sephiroth apparently needed to earn the right to welcome a visitor, and couldn’t stop getting into fistfights with other inmates. The asylum actually sent a messenger boy to his door every day to break the unfortunate news that Cloud was not allowed to see Sephiroth. Cloud found the messenger charming, and he almost liked hearing that Sephiroth was giving them a hard time… it was a strange sort of turn on to be in love with a bad boy. But the novelty wore off, and eventually Cloud was able to send Sephiroth a written message with the messenger.

_‘Can you not fight for one day so I can come see you? I miss you so much! Can you suck it up for one goddamn day? For me? - Cloud’_ he wrote in large letters.

A short while later, the messenger returned with a napkin bearing a short reply, _‘I miss you too, baby. I won’t fight tomorrow, I promise. Come see me. – Seph’_

True to his word, Sephiroth did not fight the following day, and earned the right to see his boyfriend. Cloud immediately went to the remote location of the mental asylum, and realized why Sephiroth was having so much trouble getting along with his peers.

It was a massive, immaculately clean, brightly lit compound full of the darkest-hearted people in existence. Just walking through the front doors of the place filled Cloud with dread, and he found himself actually very afraid of the wicked energy that the place gave off. Somehow the bright and cheerful, hospital-like appearance only added to how scary it felt to walk inside, almost like one was entering a haunted building.

Cloud was briefed by a pair of correctional officers not to engage in fighting with any of the inmates. Apparently his reputation preceded him, as he was becoming known in the Lifestream for having a fierce temper. Cloud promised to be on his best behavior, and was allowed into the waiting room.

Other criminals and villains were also waiting for their visiting loved ones, and Cloud’s eyes searched for Sephiroth, fully expecting him to look mentally ill and defeated by this place. Instead, Sephiroth was standing in boots, leather pants and a black sweater, looking exactly like his old self. His hair was shiny, his skin was clear, his eyes were alert and bright. The only difference from his previous identity as a General was that Sephiroth’s current body was less formally trained, giving him a more streamlined physique. But there was still a pleasant stretch of dark fabric over his broad chest, and a sexy rolling bump of muscle underneath his sweater’s sleeves. His legs still filled out leather just the same way, and Cloud couldn’t see it but he just knew Sephiroth’s ass looked amazing right then.

Cloud’s eyes watered, because he hadn’t seen Sephiroth look so awake, so sane, so healthy, or so fucking handsome in a lifetime.

Sephiroth smiled back at him and took a step forward, but paused. There was a man dressed in the robes of the very Ancient Wutainese standing next to him, and he leaned close and whispered something to Sephiroth. In response to whatever was said, Sephiroth gave the man a deadly glare and there was a characteristic twitch of his left hand where a weapon might have materialized. There was no weapon, so instead it closed into a tight fist.

Cloud watched in horrified slow motion as Sephiroth reeled it back to knock this grinning Wutainese lunatic on his ass.

The man became animated by this, and screamed out with pure glee, “Nurse! Sephiroth’s threatening me!”

The nurse in question had been watching this entire exchange with keen vision, and held up a rod with an electrically charged end. “Are you boys causing trouble right before visitation? Do I need to revoke your privileges for today?”

“No,” Sephiroth answered, crossing his arms and giving Cloud a calm shrug. “I didn’t actually do anything.”

The nurse gave Sephiroth a patronizing look before shifting it to the other man. “Were you picking a fight, Eddie jinn?”

“No, I was paying his boyfriend a compliment and Sephiroth acted like he was going to hit me,” The man licked his lips with insane fervor, and it was easy to see that this being probably had never been a human entity. He was… something else. Although nobody asked him what the compliment was, he was happy to announce it, “Cloud Strife’s my hero! He’s a super hero! I wanna peel his skin off and wear it like a cape!”

The nurse looked bored by this rambling admission, which wasn’t even the craziest thing she’d heard in just the past five minutes. She sighed at Sephiroth. “Were you really going to hit this idiot jinn for saying that? Do you think Mr. Strife’s skin is in any immediate danger?”

Sephiroth scoffed. “Cloud could tear this mother fucker apart without even trying. But I need to hit him because he spat a little on my cheek when he whispered to me, and that’s a level of disrespect that I don’t have to tolerate.”

She gave him a glare of disbelief. “You still don’t get it, do you? You’re not a General anymore and nobody here owes you anything, least of all respect. I can spit on you right now if I want to.”

After weighing that statement uneasily, Sephiroth threw on that inner switch he’d developed in the military. He could easily cut himself off emotionally from situations, and gave her a rigid nod. “Understood.”

She wasn’t done scolding him. “I should send Cloud home, but since he’s already here and signed in… I’m letting this slide. I don’t want to catch you about to fight again.”

“Yes ma’am,” he told her.

She touched Cloud’s shoulder and gently urged him further into the waiting room. “Hurry up and get out of here before he gets into real trouble.”

Cloud was slow to approach. Actually seeing his lover in this kind of setting, surrounded by these kinds of people was upsetting… mostly because Sephiroth seemed to be playing along as though he belonged there. It might have been easier to take if Sephiroth didn’t look so good, but as it was it seemed tragically unfair that he was locked away with all these deranged, drooling, insane villains. Sephiroth’s beauty had carried over into the Lifestream, but it seemed as though looks weren’t everything when stacked against a lifetime of murder, evil, and insanity.

Sephiroth did belong here. He had never, ever been anything but pure poison in Cloud’s life… and yet here Cloud was, dating him again and even showing support by visiting him in a fucking asylum. Forgiveness was something Cloud had always been desperate for in his life, but actually forgiving Sephiroth was a constant effort, a work in progress. It hurt so badly in that moment, but Cloud didn't want to show emotion in front of these people. He took his lover’s cue and threw a similar military switch inside himself just to stop from breaking down into tears.

Under control, Cloud approached Sephiroth with a short hug. "Hi."

"Hi," Sephiroth greeted, thirsty for more contact but silently accepting the fact that he was being held at arm's length. He assumed Cloud wanted privacy for a more intimate reunion, and smiled softly down at him. "Wanna see my room?"

"Sure," Cloud nodded.

"C'mon," Sephiroth wanted to take his hand to walk, but didn't. They went silently to Sephiroth's floor, and into the small studio apartment. Sephiroth opened the door to usher Cloud inside with a shrug. "This is it."

Cloud hated it. His emotionless switch was still flipped, so he groped for something positive to say. "Hm. Cute room."

Sephiroth was becoming infected with Cloud's awkwardness. "It's nice having my own bathroom. I also have like, a little kitchen... I don't really eat yet, though. But are you hungry?"

"No, no," Cloud stuffed his hands in his pockets. "I don't really eat, either. I mean... sometimes I do if I go to someone’s house and they made dinner, but..."

"Coffee?" Sephiroth suggested. "I've got some whiskey I can add to it. They give it away to us here like candy."

"Okay," Cloud agreed, allowing his boyfriend something to do as he prepared the drink.

They sat next to each other on the small sofa, not saying much and not touching. Sephiroth looked over at Cloud, who hadn't even attempted to kiss him, yet. In fact, he was actively trying not to look at him.

Sephiroth had gotten used to the idea of his boyfriend being as clingy as he'd been as a teenager, and was a little bummed out about their lukewarm reunion. He decided to take a chance and lean in for a kiss, and was met with Cloud's cheek.

"Oh," Cloud said, embarrassed for turning away from his boyfriend. "Sorry."

That small apology reminded Sephiroth that he had work to do. "Hey, wanna help me with my first assignment here?"

"Assignment?"

"Yeah, I have like little assignments to do. Therapy shit. Once I get one done, I get a new one. So on until I get released, you know?" Sephiroth was rambling, and quickly reached for his cup of coffee to sip at to shut himself up. After a brief pause to choke down a tiny sip of the still-too-hot liquid, he put it back down. "So, my first assignment involves you. You wanna help?"

"Sure."

"I have to tell you that I'm sorry for something," Sephiroth explained. "I have to offer you a sincere apology for one thing that I'm really sorry for. And I figured out what that something is -"

"You're not sorry about what you did," Cloud immediately rebutted.

"Yeah, I know that. But I am sorry about one thing."

Cloud looked at him for a moment, before huffing. "What, then?"

Sephiroth wasn't sorry for burning down Nibelheim. He wasn't sorry for trying to destroy the planet. He wasn't sorry for stabbing Cloud a bunch of times, killing tons of innocent people with Geostigma, or driving Cloud literally insane. The only thing he could think to be sorry about was... "Most people come to the Lifestream and find peace. I've made you miserable and complicated everything for you from the first second, and you don't deserve that after everything I've done to you. You deserve to be happy, and that's my number one priority right now. I'm sorry that I haven't been able to quite pull it off, yet. I’m trying."

Cloud processed that by chewing on the inside of his lip. "You always make me miserable, though. That's just... you."

"I want to make you happy," Sephiroth said, and his own honesty surprised him. "I'm so sorry that I'm still fucking up your life. Sorry you have to come here and see me like this. Just... I'm sorry."

"That's a stupid thing to say," A smile hinted on the corner of Cloud's mouth.

"I'm sorry," Sephiroth repeated with a grin when he saw Cloud's defenses begin to crumble.

Cloud reached over and covered Sephiroth's mouth with his palm. "Don't say it again."

"Mm mm-y," Sephiroth repeated behind Cloud's hand.

Cloud's nostrils flared a little, and he was still almost smiling as his eyes became glassy with tears. "... Stop."

Sephiroth's eyebrows turned up at the sudden swing of his lover's mood, and pulled Cloud's hand off his mouth. "What's wrong?"

"Just shut the fuck up."

"Tell me what's wrong, baby?" Sephiroth asked again, tightening his hold on Cloud's hand.

"Please don't let them change you," Cloud let out a breath. "Don't be sorry for anything. I love you and I don't want a nicer version of you, or for you to pretend to be sorry about anything to make these people keeping you here satisfied. If you want to make me happy, just be _you_."

Sephiroth only heard one thing in all of that, and it had drowned out everything else. "… You love me?"

"Oh," Cloud thought back to what he'd blurted and felt his face burn hot. He’d not said it out loud yet, and was a little surprised at how easily it had slipped. "... C'mon, Seph. Of course I do."

Sephiroth didn't let another second pass before scooping Cloud into his lap. At some point they'd knocked into the table and their coffee spilled all over the side of the couch and the floor, but neither noticed until much, much later.

First task down, and Sephiroth got two very unexpected perks. Cloud said out loud that he loved him, and Sephiroth had his first orgasm in over half a century. Granted it was brought on by a dry hump and happened on the inside of his pants, but it was the most intense thing he'd felt since Cloud punching him in the neck when he'd woke up on the Lifestream shore.

One little taste of pleasure made Sephiroth all the more eager to get done with this asylum. He was ready for his second task... which he was absolutely disgusted by.

Sephiroth had to make a new friend in the asylum. And there was no bullshitting a task like that.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Sephiroth liked to spend his days in the asylum gym (unless of course his privileges were revoked for fighting, or for trying to interfere with his fellow inmates’ workouts with too many suggestions). He was headed there for a long, relaxing run when he was forced to move out of the way as a new inmate was being literally dragged from the elevator and down his hall. He covered his nose in shock of one of the absolute foulest odors he’d ever experienced, all coming from the newest inmate.

Sephiroth normally wasn’t interested in inmate drama, but was stricken by this one’s appearance. The man was naked, ashamed, crawling along the floor like the lowest creature that had ever lived. He had dark hair and charred skin covered in blistering burns, and was coated in a thick cocktail of human fluids: blood, piss, cum, shit, vomit. Sephiroth was even more shocked by the fact that this man had two large, black wings folded against his back. Granted they were in horrible condition, and molted rotten feathers as he laid sobbing against the floor.

But Sephiroth had never seen wings on anyone else but himself, Angeal and Genesis. Something made him want to speak to this young man. “Hey. You’ll like it here.”

The young man looked up, revealing that his face was more owl-like than human. He had a small break and large, shockingly round eyes. Once they locked with Sephiroth’s, they slammed shut and he hid his face against the floor. “Please! Please let me die! I wanna go back to Hell!”

“Oryan, stand up and walk,” one of the orderlies was gently urging. “It’s okay. You’re safe here.”

“Throw me back! I wanna go to Hell! I wanna go home!”

“Oryan,” the orderlies were whispering, still trying to get him to stand as they unlocked the door next to Sephiroth’s. “This is your home, now. It’s clean, and safe, and all yours. You don’t have to live in Hell, anymore.”

“I deserve it,” the man was still sobbing. “I’m a toilet. I’m nothing.”

“That’s not true,” a nurse told him. “Let us help you. You’ll feel so good after a bath.”

A few of the other inmates were having a great time whistling and cat calling the naked, distraught young man. They were shooed away, as well as Sephiroth for being a rubber necker. He was forced onto the elevator, and left with a hundred questions that he would normally never even care to wonder about. He supposed that the naked, shit-stained man was the only person he’d seen at the asylum who… looked like he needed a friend. And fucking god damn it, Sephiroth needed one too if he was ever going to get out of this place.

Making a new friend was demeaning, juvenile, and meaningless for a grown-ass man such as himself. Once he made peace with the fact that he had to do it whether he liked it or not, it didn't take much introspection to realize he didn't really have friends in life. He had coworkers, colleagues, brothers-in-arms, and then rich people in suits who had made decisions about his life for him. Even Cloud was just a cadet and a wannabe SOLDIER.

Sephiroth had never known a single person who was not employed by the Shin-Ra Electric Company. And to put it bluntly… during the company's heyday, nobody else really mattered.

But a task was a task, and the longer he ignored it, the longer he was kept from Cloud. So Sephiroth initially sought out the most convenient person to befriend - his neighbor Phil. He was an animal murderer, and liked to take long walks in the park while offering poisoned treats to any dog he passed by.

Sephiroth wasn't sorry for his crimes in life, and neither was Phil. He'd been in the asylum for a long time and knew that he would never get out. With the mentality that his crimes were going to define his identity for the rest of eternity, Phil was very proud of them. Sephiroth had only endured a few moments of this man’s repugnant company, and even in just that fleeting introduction Sephiroth wanted to tear Phil’s heart out and shit in the hole that was left behind. It was immediately clear than friendship was not an option.

But now Oryan was his neighbor on the other side. Just the fact that Sephiroth actually remembered his name was meaningful. He figured the kid was probably a demon sex slave or something equally as illustrious, and sought out other demons to ask questions before approaching him for friendship. The only one who’d actually talk to him was Abbadon, who was pretty desperate to talk to anybody and widely considered to be an obnoxious fucking loser.

“So! You wanna know about Oryan?” he asked, his double chin bouncing in glee as he spoke. He was extra loud to demonstrate to the lunch room that Sephiroth had actually chosen to speak to him. “I know all about him!”

Sephiroth already wanted to abort this mission, but gave a reluctant sigh as he began to eat. “Well? What’s his story?”

“We go back all the way to the beginning of the rebellion!” Abbadon exclaimed, always eager to talk about his glory days as a marauding angel, playing out an outlaw fantasy with his friends before getting booted out of Heaven.

Oryan was created by God to act as a mouthpiece, taking all the wisest parts of an owl to create a thoughtful, well-spoken little angel. Oryan’s innate wisdom granted him the power and the curse to speak only the truth. His own nature betrayed him when Lucifer lead a revolution against God, and Oryan couldn’t lie about his sympathies towards the rebellion. He was banished from Heaven, making him a homeless little bird kicked out of his nest with nowhere to go.

“What’s the difference between Heaven and the Lifestream?” Sephiroth interrupted.

Abbadon thought about that before answering. “Heaven is like… the Lifestream on a heroin bender. It’s just… way different, really flashy and exclusive, and only fun if you have a _lot_ of money.”

Sephiroth frowned in thought. “Sounds like the Gold Saucer.”

Abbadon nodded, “Exactly. People who are born in Heaven don’t even know the Lifestream exists… once you’re in, you’re in forever. And they have a way of making you feel like you’d rather not exist at all than get kicked out. Especially at that time, because nobody had ever _been_ kicked out before. We had no idea what was gonna happen to us, where we would go… it was awesome for us, but Oryan took it pretty hard.”

At one point during an argument with Lucifer, Oryan made the mistake of telling the King of Hell to, “Eat shit.”

As a result, Oryan was assigned to the eighth circle of Hell, watching over the trapped souls drowning upside down, feet up in shit. And anyone seeking truth through Satanic worship could summon Oryan by force feeding a human sacrifice excrement until they suffocated. Blood, virgins and demonic circles helped too, but weren't strictly necessary. Oryan’s talents made him one of the most sought after servants in the entire demonic collective, and if the summoning conditions were met, Oryan appeared and would grant the summoner whatever truth he desired. Or she, as the case might have been, but a woman had never gone through the nasty trouble to call upon him.

“You’re making all this up,” Sephiroth accused.

“No, seriously!” Abbadon insisted. “Oryan has been covered in shit for millions of years, all because he told Luce to eat it one time! Anyway, you wanna throw rocks at him later? He hates that!”

“I’m all set,” Sephiroth stood up from the lunch table. Even though he got a little bit of backstory on his new neighbor, and still had more questions than answers.

Over the next few days, the asylum's medical staff cleaned, treated and bandaged his beak and wings several times a day. Almost immediately, the festering rot that had infested his body improved. Soon, his black wings looked shiny and healthy, and his beak only needed a few band-aids here and there. He didn't reek of death anymore, but rather had the fresh musk of something natural and earthy.

Sephiroth had tried striking up a conversation with him several times. But every single time, the demon had shrunk back and literally hid anywhere he could to avoid conversation.

At one point they were both entering their respective apartments at the same time, and accidently made eye contact. Oryan looked entirely different from the first time they'd met, both outwardly and in the way he was carrying himself. He wasn't slinking naked and filthy along on the ground, but rather standing like a person and dressed in loose, modern jeans and a black sweatshirt. His skin was dark and mottled from being exposed to such high temperatures for so long, and he was built somewhat like Zack; a strong and youthful body topped with messy, dark curls. He was actually kind of hot from behind.

Sephiroth found himself compelled to say something. It'd be rude to greet Oryan by name, because demons were awfully touchy about that. To them, names held great power. Just knowing a demon's name might give a summoner control over them, and while Oryan was probably working through all that with therapy, he was still a demon.

So Sephiroth called out a casual, "Hey."

Oryan's entire body froze. His eyes turned to Sephiroth, but didn't rise higher than his chin line. "... Hello."

"You look good."

Oryan answered with wide eyes, and a slightly parted beak. It was hard to tell because he didn't have much in the way of cheeks, but the demon appeared to be blushing.

Sephiroth realized that sounded very much like a pick up line, and waved his hand to ease his neighbor. "Your wings, I mean. They look a lot better."

"... Th-thank you very much," he said politely, his hands shaking a bit as he fumbled to get into his room.

"You busy?" Sephiroth asked, trying to remedy the awkward situation. "Wanna come in and have a drink or something?"

The demon's face snapped towards Sephiroth at an angle that was inhuman, and his eyes went even wider. “Why?”

"I'm supposed to be making friends," Sephiroth explained with a roll of his eyes, and then leaned in as he spoke from the side of his mouth. "Part of the program. I'm trying to get out of here. Did they tell you to make a friend, too?"

"No, they wouldn't have asked me to do that. I wouldn't make a very good friend," Oryan fumbled until he got his door open and shuddered his way inside.

Sephiroth became a little offended. "Hey, you used to be a fucking literal piece of shit, how many people invite you over to hang out? Would a fucking drink kill you?"

The door slammed shut. Sephiroth huffed, red in the face and frustrated.

He could tell Oryan was still standing behind the door. "Alright hey, I'm sorry man. I just really need to make a friend so I can move on to my next task. It’s been like a month and I still haven’t met anyone here I can tolerate, and you seem like a nice guy. You don't have to be my friend back or anything, but I could help you with your program if you need it. Do you need help with any tasks?"

Oryan opened the door a crack. Sephiroth didn't notice until that moment, but the demon actually had teeth and lips inside his beak, "... My next task is that someone else has to bear witness to my capability to do good. If I become your friend, would you be a witness for me?"

Sephiroth had no idea what that meant. "Sure, whatever."

He was still hesitant. "... You don't want to steal my wings, do you?"

Sephiroth's face became ridiculous with incredulity. "Why would you think that? Was somebody talking shit about me? Who told you that?"

Oryan gulped, unable to lie. "Nobody. I was just afraid you might want my wings... because you're missing one."

"Oh." Sephiroth calmed down instantly. "I don't give a shit about that. And even if I did want another wing, yours wouldn't even match mine."

"Why do you hide it?" Oryan asked, not even seeing a bump on the back of Sephiroth's tank top.

“… How do you even know about it?”

“Because it’s the truth,” Oryan shrugged. “I always know the truth.”

“Are you psychic or some shit? Do you know what I’m gonna say before I say it?”

Oryan rolled his large, round eyes. “No.”

“Then how – “

“I really don’t feel like explaining it.”

"Fair enough. My wing is just a mutation left over from my life," Sephiroth admitted. “I'd rather pretend it isn't there. My boyfriend doesn’t even know it’s still there."

"I appreciate your honesty," Oryan's fingers tapped in thought on his door, which were capped in dark, talon-like nails. "I agree to be your friend, Sephiroth... but not the kind with benefits."

Sephiroth sputtered. "I'm not tryin' to fuck you! You know who I'm dating, right?"

His curls bounced as he nodded quickly. "I know exactly who you're dating. And I'd rather not give Cloud Strife a reason to be mad at me."

Sephiroth laughed. "Demons are afraid of _Cloud_?"

"Demons are afraid of everything."

Even though he'd done it just to fulfill a part of his program, Sephiroth found that he greatly enjoyed Oryan’s company. He was the only person Sephiroth knew outside of the drama of his own miserable existence, and it was nice having brand new things to talk about.

"So did you like, actually tell Satan to eat shit?" Sephiroth had asked the next day. They were on Earth and Oryan was performing his little good deeds while Sephiroth took notes. Oryan's idea of a good deed was watching over a bird's nest while the mother was away, and ensuring the defenseless babies were not bothered. Sephiroth was bored to tears, and combated falling asleep by being an asshole.

"Yes," Oryan answered, tossing a rock towards two squirrels who became too curious about the contents of the nest he was guarding.

“… How did the shit eating summon come about? How does that actually make you appear somewhere?”

"It just sort of... happens."

"So you just got this sense that someone, somewhere was drowning in shit and you wanted to be a part of it?" Sephiroth laughed.

"You're a funny guy," Oryan commented, treating him to the musical laugh of the angel he'd once been. "Tell me the punchline to this joke: Did you choose to be summoned by sprinkling Jenova's semen onto your little brother's dying body?"

"... Ouch."

"Truth hurts," Oryan told him.

Sephiroth's crimes were far worse than a literal demon's, and dealing with that truth brought about emotions that didn't have names. He'd murdered thousands of men, women and children as a Shin-Ra General, and had been rewarded for doing so. He'd tortured the only person he'd ever really loved, physically and psychologically breaking Cloud until he was unrecognizable as the person he once was. He'd defied laws of nature, death and the Universe, just like a demon. And while Kadaj didn't have to eat actual shit to summon him, he'd pretty much let the poor little guy eat shit in a manner of speaking, once Cloud had defeated him.

Sephiroth didn't have to let Kadaj die. He just didn't care. And in all honesty, he still didn't. He was half expecting to run into one of his little brothers in this institution, but they were never even considered for admission. They were good people, merely misguided.

He was the one who belonged in the asylum, and Oryan being his neighbor was no accident. They were helping each other without really even knowing it, just as the Universe thought they would.

Oryan was learning that joining the crusade in Hell wasn't the worst thing ever, and he could be forgiven. And Sephiroth was learning that he was probably one of the most colossally horrible people to ever exist.

Even that horrible person could still be loved by Cloud Strife. And that horrible person could still make a friend.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

 

Cloud kissed Sephiroth again and again, pulling his soft lips between his teeth as he yanked on the pockets of his pants to pull his groin closer. A film noir was playing on Sephiroth's wall, and soft piano accompaniment was the only other sound besides the barely noticeable hitch in Sephiroth's breath as Cloud worked his hands into his clothes.

Those in the Lifestream could have anything their minds could create, and that went for consumable entertainment as well.

On Cloud's second visit to Sephiroth in the mental asylum, they'd compiled a list together of every single movie that either of them had ever heard of, and went about watching every single one. It was doing something without doing anything. It was easy to talk, touch, laugh and be close under the guise of cinematic pursuit.

It was a very juvenile method of trying to smooth the mood to get laid. And Sephiroth _really_ needed to get laid.

But living apart... it never felt like the right moment. It felt like they should wait until they were together again, totally free to express things to each other with their bodies that they'd been holding inside for decades.

At first Cloud kind of enjoyed the frustration of going home alone. Sephiroth was a master at those delicious, lingering goodbye kisses that made Cloud's back arch and knees shake. Sephiroth would always lean against his doorway and watch him as he walked all the way down the hallway and out of sight, still smiling from afar every time Cloud peeked over his shoulder.

Cloud often found himself smiling all the way home, where he'd cuddle into his pillows and dream about the day when it would be Sephiroth's warm body beside him. It was a sweet teenage feeling, and Cloud was so fucking over it.

If Sephiroth needed to get laid, Cloud was going to die _again_ if he didn't get some dick soon.

So any time seemed like a good time to Cloud to find out what sex was like in the Lifestream. Cloud's hero had fallen pretty hard, but he was getting back up and it was inspirational and wonderful and Cloud wanted to be as close to him as skin could permit. He had a feeling being intimate in the Lifestream might let them be even closer than _that_ , and it made Cloud's heart ache in lovesick anticipation.

The film's music lent itself to the mood. They had enough time left in the visit to get the job done right. Sephiroth's cock was practically rubbing him raw through his jeans. Why not now?

Cloud's overworked lips were sore as he broke away from their endless kiss. "Seph?"

"Hm?" He asked with lidded eyes, the entire area around his mouth bitten red.

He looked sexy and ravaged, and Cloud ran his thumb over his swollen lips. "I love you."

"I love you, too."

Cloud wanted more than sex with this man. He didn't want to go home alone ever again. He wanted them to move in together, to be Sephiroth's army wife without all the army drama, to live out his dream of taking care of this beautiful man and making him happy forever.

Cloud took too long to respond, and Sephiroth's gray eyes fluttered shut as their mouths reconnected. It almost hurt to keep kissing, but it hurt more not to. Cloud led Sephiroth backwards with his lips until they landed in a comfortable, woefully clothed missionary position.

But through layers of clothes, Cloud could practically feel Sephiroth's heartbeat through the pulsing mass pressing from the inside of his zipper. Cloud knew he must have had a huge wet spot on the front of his pants; his cock had been leaking from the kisses, but the pressure and warmth from his boyfriend’s body was escalating the situation into something miserable.

"Seph," Cloud whispered again, unable to help himself from rolling his lower body towards Sephiroth's to press their erections together in a very direct way.

Sephiroth began to gently, but steadily rock between his legs. Cloud couldn't contain a harsh moan of relief, and greedily jerked Sephiroth's head back into another kiss.

While his lips worked, he reached between them and arched up to pull his own shirt up to his chin, and broke contact only to pull it over his head and let it fall to the floor. Just the contact of Sephiroth's soft t-shirt against his bare chest was enough to give him goose bumps.

He swallowed another series of deep kisses from Sephiroth, waiting until the perfect lull to speak. It arrived when Sephiroth released his lips and began to kiss along his cheek. "... This feels so good."

"Mm-hm," Sephiroth agreed with a low sound in his throat.

"... Sephiroth?"

"What baby?" He responded, lifting his head to look at Cloud up close.

"I need you," Cloud admitted softly, slipping his fingers into Sephiroth's hair. He wasn’t concerned with making love or anything remotely as meaningful as that. "... Fuck me."

In life, those two little words would have been all it took to get exactly what he wanted. But Sephiroth hesitated, and suddenly looked to the blank wall. "You didn't like that movie? Want me to pick another one?"

"No," Cloud groaned as his boyfriend's body tried to withdraw, and trapped him with his legs. "Don't do this to me."

"Do what to you?" He asked innocently, dragging heavy fingertips up Cloud's thighs as he settled back down on top of him.

"Don't pretend you don't need it, too," Cloud nuzzled his hips against Sephiroth's, looking up expectantly. "We're here, and I love you, and we don't have to wait for anything. Let's just go for it… I wanna make you feel good."

"Relax," Sephiroth suggested, pressing a small kiss to the tip of Cloud's nose as he lifted himself off of him. "We can wait a little more."

Cloud frowned, swallowing down a knot of disappointment. "How much longer?"

Sephiroth pulled away and sat up on the couch, adjusting the raging hardness in his pants. "As long as it takes."

Cloud gave him a sour glare. "As long as it takes until what? I die of sexual frustration?"

"Until I get out of this place."

Cloud put that awkwardness out of his mind, and closed any distance Sephiroth had tried to put between them. He hooked a leg over Sephiroth's lap and cuddled close. "I don't care about... you being here. I just want to feel you again... better than we used to."

His eyelids lowered as he stared down at Cloud. "How much would it suck to have sex right now and you have to go home without me?"

Cloud slid his palm across the thick erection pressing from inside Sephiroth's jeans. "Are you saying you'd fuck me tonight if I could stay here with you?"

A sly grin curled across his mouth. "I'd be very tempted."

"I can ask..." Cloud drawled desperately, running his fingertips over the hard outline of Sephiroth's cock through his pants. "... This whole place might not even be here if I didn't kill you. I think if I wanna stay past visiting time to get fucked, I should be allowed."

Sephiroth picked Cloud's hand up from his crotch and kissed it. "You're getting pretty used to this little celebrity thing you've got going on."

Cloud sighed. "This isn't gonna happen, is it?"

Sephiroth squinted one of his eyes in remorse. "I don't think so."

"I can't take this," Cloud whined, his head dropping back in defeat as their embrace became chaste.

Sephiroth smoothed Cloud's hair back, trying to calm his lover although his own hands were trembling a little bit. Any sexual frustration Cloud was feeling was _nothing_ compared to the agony of his lover begging for sex, but feeling unable to give it to him. "Sorry, baby. It feels... wrong."

"Why does it feel wrong?"

Sephiroth quickly rubbed his hands over Cloud's arms, "It's nothing about you. This place just feels like... it's like we're trying to do it upstairs at my parent's house."

"How would you know anything about being upstairs at your parent's house?" Cloud laughed.

"I fucked you at your mom's house on your birthday that one time. That was a pretty stressful ten minutes for me."

"Oh that's right... I forgot all about that! That was pretty hot, actually..." Cloud's eyes drew shut as a long forgotten memory came back of hushed moans and his squeaking mattress. To combat the noise, Sephiroth had picked him up and held him against the wall, and then eventually on top of his childhood desk. It was only a little birthday quickie, but it felt so good to be fucked in the very room where Cloud had fantasized about Sephiroth every single night as a young teenager. And even after Nibelheim was burned to the ground, Cloud still fantasized about Sephiroth during his lifetime while masturbating or having sex, though he’d always felt horrible guilt about it.

Oddly enough, that guilt made the pressure in Cloud’s jeans become even worse. Cloud rubbed his forehead where a headache from sexual frustration was collecting, "Let’s talk about something else."

"... Yeah," Sephiroth agreed thoughtfully, clearly seeing visions behind his eyes. He blinked them away, and smiled down at Cloud. "Trust me, though. Going home is gonna be so much better than doing it here."

"Come home, then..." Cloud reached up to stroke Sephiroth's hair behind his ear. "What's the worst they can do if I took you out of here?"

Sephiroth kissed his forehead apologetically. "I have more to do."

"You coming here at all was just bad advice from a bunch of overly concerned assholes!"

"It was good advice," Sephiroth insisted. "It's not like we don't have time to spare to do this right."

"I don't need any more time."

"I need a little more time here, or else they would have let me go."

Cloud huffed. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Well..." Sephiroth rubbed his hand across the soft, warm skin of Cloud's back. He was glad this topic had finally come up. "I have a new task, actually. It involves you again."

"Anything that isn't too humiliating?"

"Couple’s therapy."

Cloud let out a drawn out, humorless laugh, "No! I won’t do it. I’m drawing the line."

Sephiroth's nose wrinkled. "Considering you're stuck being my soulmate, they'd like to talk to you about me. About us..."

"We have our own therapy going on," Cloud motioned towards the blank wall where a movie was usually playing.

"I guess they don't think watching movies together and dry humping every night is enough," Sephiroth shrugged. "I mean... it is _forever_ that we're throwing around. Maybe they see something we don't. Maybe you're not..."

"What?"

"Maybe our terms weren't enough."

Like every time that Cloud visited, a knock came to the door to signal that their time was almost up. They nurse made rounds three times, and if Cloud wasn't out by the third knock, they used a key to open the door and shoo him out. Cloud had been forced to pull on his shirt and shoes and adjust his boner in front of an impatient nurse many times.

Cloud sighed, getting up to collect his shirt, jacket, and shoes, and put them on in that order. "I'll think about the therapy thing."

Sephiroth watched him redress with a quiet sadness. "Don't think too hard about it, because we have to do it."

"…I know. It’s just the last piece of my pride resisting."

Sephiroth didn’t want to listen to Cloud whine about pride considering everything he’d had to do since coming to the asylum. "It won't be that bad."

Cloud leaned over him, giving him several quick kisses before one final one on his forehead. "To get you home, I'll do anything."

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-`

 

Aerith sat across from them. She noticed how each man's body language was stiff, but pointed towards each other to seek out as much comfort as possible. When compared to the state Cloud had woken up in the Lifestream in, it was really nice to see them so close again and sitting next to each other like… people.

After picking up as much information as possible from the two without words, she flashed an enthusiastic smile. "Loosen up, guys! This is couple’s therapy! It’s fun!"

"Hm," Sephiroth grunted.

"Fun," Cloud shifted a little in discomfort. He saw Aerith and Zack almost every day, and sometimes talked about Sephiroth, the past, and more delicate things like love and feelings. But no more than little comments, because they were always in a good mood and those topics just seemed to bring everyone down.

Aerith crossed her legs up underneath her body, and balanced the clipboard on her lap. "So, we haven’t all had a chance to sit down and talk together, yet. Give me all the gossip, how have things been?"

"Great," Sephiroth said.

"Awful!" Cloud said simultaneously.

"What?" Sephiroth barked at him.

"There are two very different opinions," Aerith clicked open her pen and leaning over her clipboard. "Cloud, why's it been awful?"

"Hey don't write anything," Sephiroth told her, then threw an annoyed glance at Cloud as he spoke out of the side of his mouth. "We're doing this to get me outta here, why are you bein’ a brat already?"

“I'm being honest. This asylum sucks ass, and I’m tired of living this way.”

 

“That's fair enough," Aerith agreed. “Sephiroth, Cloud’s allowed to have feelings.”

 

“Oh shut it,” Sephiroth waved her silent as he smacked Cloud’s knee. “Look, can you just fake this please? We’re fine, everything’s great, let’s all go home.”

 

Cloud smacked Sephiroth’s knee much harder, “So you admit that’s what you do here? What’s the point of that, anyway? It really makes me furious that you’re just playing into all this garbage.”

 

Sephiroth smacked Cloud’s elbow, messing up the way he had his arms crossed, “I'm doing everything I can possibly think of to wrap this up so we can be fucking happy together.”

 

Cloud didn’t smack him back, “You shouldn't have agreed to come here in the first place. We could have just left Purgatory and went...”

 

Sephiroth gave a vivid shrug when Cloud didn’t complete his sentence. “Where?”

 

“I dunno,” Cloud crossed his arms again.

 

“You have enough actual reasons to be mad at me, you don’t have to just make up bullshit ones,” Sephiroth dismissed, and then spoke to Aerith. “We’ve had this fight a million times by now, ya know. He’s bein’ a drama queen now that he has an audience.”

 

“It’s less of a fight and more of a conversation with a mediator,” she noted, writing on her clipboard. “Cloud, I understand you resent Sephiroth being held here. But how would you have wanted things to go if you had the power to decide?”

 

“We would have just stayed in Purgatory. It was... really, really nice there…” Cloud’s teeth snapped down on his lower lip when it began to shake. “I don't know what I'm getting so emotional right now, I'm sorry.”

 

“You’re apologizing about crying in front of me? Cloud Strife, you know I live for men coming to terms with their feelings.”

 

That made Cloud laugh a little, and he wiped his eyes with a brave nod as more tears fell. “Okay, bitch. You’ve got me crying.”

 

She smiled at him. “So what did you like so much about Purgatory?”

 

Cloud’s lip began to tremble again as he pondered the answer. “We made our old apartment and it felt just like being home again. I would pretend all the time that we were in Midgar and that… we were just spending the weekend together, only the weekend never had to end. It was just the two of us. That was how things were supposed to be. It was really easy to pretend I was eighteen again.”

 

“You always were very good at hiding in your own head,” Aerith told him, taking no pleasure in bringing up the worst times in Cloud’s life on Earth. “That’s your favorite coping mechanism, isn’t it?”

 

“I guess so,” Cloud whispered, helping himself to a tissue as it seemed the tears were there to stay. 

 

“There's great news about that!” She told him cheerfully. “Your life here is just starting, and it's real. There's no need to go to the past to hide from pain, because you've got a brand new start that isn't going to be interrupted by anyone’s death.”

 

“I know you’re right,” Cloud choked out before beginning to silently sob into a tissue. 

 

Sephiroth scooted a bit closer to him then, rubbing a hand across his back as gently as if he was a bomb about to detonate. “Why are you crying like this?”

 

“I don’t know,” Cloud said into the tissue, reaching out to grab a few more when the one he had was soaked.

 

Aerith frowned. “Cloud, you've got to let go of the past. It's all over, now. What do you have to gain by holding on to all of this pain?”

 

“I just...” Cloud struggled to put it into words. “I want to let go. But every time I think I have, I remember how it felt to lose everything and everyone. I hated my life so much, I wanted to die every day.”

 

“Nothing like that will happen to you again,” Sephiroth promised him, looking a little wild and helpless and willing to say anything to stop Cloud’s tears. “I can't do that again, baby. I won’t.”

 

“If you’re not crazy, then why do I even exist?” Cloud sobbed. 

 

“Why do you need a reason to exist?” Aerith asked him gently. 

 

Cloud wiped the corners of his eyes. “I'm alone in an empty house and I can't _not_ remember how it used to be during my life. Everyone died but me, and I hated you all so much for leaving me like that.”

 

“You did everything you were supposed to do!” Aerith told him. “You're a hero, Cloud. Don’t you know how much everyone loves you?”

 

“Then why couldn’t I ever figure out how to be happy?” Cloud wondered aloud.

 

“Because you’re a brat,” Sephiroth muttered.

 

“Because you haven't gotten to really talk about it until now,” Aerith answered, leveling Sephiroth a harsh glare. “Nobody on earth was capable of understanding what you went through.”

 

“They all said I should be happy because I was a… hero,” Cloud’s voice broke on that final word. “I was a hero for killing Sephiroth. I didn't know how to tell anyone that all I wanted was to die, to be with him... And I wanted to be with you, Zack, and my mom. But I figured if I was still alive, there must be a threat of some kind. But now that I'm dead... Why am I still around?”

 

“You're not dead,” Sephiroth told him for the hundredth time since his arrival in the Lifestream. 

 

“He's right, you know,” Aerith added. “You're not dead.”

 

“Why am I here?” Cloud repeated.

 

“Think of your life on Earth as a…” Aerith searched for an appropriate term. “… Primary school.”

 

“What was I supposed to learn from all that?”

 

“I can’t tell you that,” Aerith frowned. “Nobody can. You just… did what you were created to do. Nobody could have done it but you.”

 

“If I was created to kill Sephiroth… why do I have to love him so much?” Cloud wondered. “Why did that have to be part of the deal?”

 

Aerith smirked, “Nobody made you feel any kind of way about Sephiroth. You did that all on your own. Personally, I don’t even know what you see in him. He’s a total ass.”

Cloud’s eyes were wet, and they slid to regard Sephiroth. “… Yeah, but he’s good at it.”

Sephiroth accepted the compliment for what it was, and smiled at Cloud without saying anything. He didn’t want to get too touchy-feeling in front of Aerith, but took the time to wipe Cloud’s tears off his face with rough, businesslike thumbs. Once Cloud’s face was relatively dry, he couldn’t resist leaning down to kiss his forehead.

Cloud closed his eyes at the feeling of soft lips on his skin and warm breath against his hairline. He knew he wasn’t dead, and knew that the permanence of Sephiroth in his life wasn’t threatened by a short stay in this stupid asylum. It was a formality, and one that would ensure the best possible life for Sephiroth. He swallowed another lump in his throat and let out a small, strangled sound before words came out. “Uhm… Sephiroth?”

“Hm?” He asked, pulling away.

“Do you… have anything you need to say?” Cloud finally asked. “How are you feeling about everything? Is there anything you need to talk about?”

“This therapy session is for you both of you,” Aerith agreed. “Please just let out anything on your mind, Seph.”

Sephiroth looked between the two of them, and finally addressed his own personal elephant in the room. “Did you two ever fuck?”

That was the last thing either of them expected to hear, and together they both made a squawk of a noise.

Cloud sputtered, “What?”

Aerith was equally as astounded, “Seph!”

“It’s a fair question,” he responded calmly. “You two dated for a minute. Jenova and I couldn’t control or see every little thing Cloud did at that time. Did you two ever fuck?”

“No way! We weren’t even actually dating…” Cloud insisted.

Aerith was tapping her pen angrily. “Oh, really?”

Sephiroth made a conceited noise of triumph. “I knew it.”

“We did _not_ have sex,” Cloud said in plain terms.

“I’d consider what you did to me fairly _intimate_ ,” she narrowed her eyes.

“I was so… fucking… mixed up at that time,” Cloud’s chest was rising and falling as a very new sort of anxiety settled on him. “I didn’t know who the fuck I was! I thought I was someone else, and I thought I liked girls, I thought I liked _you_ –“

Aerith gasped in true pain. “You didn’t even _like_ me? I understand you’re gay, but I thought you at least _liked_ me!”

“Of course I like you, Aerith – I love you! You’re gorgeous! You’re like a sister to me!” Cloud cried out in desperate humiliation. “I’m so sorry, I’ve never even considered your feelings about our fake relationship thing at all! I just figured once you knew I was crazy and stuff… you kinda got over it?”

One of Aerith’s shoulders shrugged a bit. “I guess I always wondered… you know. What if things were different? What it’d be like if it was you and me.”

Cloud leaned forward and clasped her hands, “My brain is so, so in love with you for everything you did for me and… you mean so much to me. But for some stupid reason, my heart has always loved… him. I can’t help it!”

“Hmf,” Sephiroth snorted.

“You better shut up before you’re in the doghouse with _two_ people,” Aerith advised, slipping her hands out of Cloud’s and looking at her nails.

“I mean it, Aerith. Zack is such a lucky man,” Cloud told her in earnest. “… I’m just not good for girls, you know that.”

“Oh yeah! I found that out the hard way,” Aerith huffed hotly.

Sephiroth was very intrigued. “I hope you two did something really nasty, or I’m gonna be disappointed by all this build up.”

“We made out a few times,” Cloud admitted.

“A lot of times!” Aerith added. “With a lot of hands! And a lot of sexual frustration for _me_!”

Cloud had no defense of his actions. “I guess I like boobs…”

“I’m well aware,” Sephiroth nodded at Aerith, pointing to the deep v-neck cut of his shirt that showed off his collarbone and a splash of skin stretched over his pectorals.

“Shut up, Seph,” Cloud gulped, his eyes lingering on the view for a moment before he tore them away. “So we messed around a little bit, but one time it went further … um. I put my… finger… in her… well, I _tried_ to put my finger in her…”

Sephiroth lost patience, “Pussy?”

Cloud was deep red. “No, I didn’t even see that part of her.”

“You never touched it, either...” Aerith grumbled. “Tell Sephiroth what you did to me!”

“We were like, kind of kissing. And she sort of… um, body language invited me to do things in like… this region,” Cloud sighed and gave a vague motion towards his lap. “And put my hand uh, down the back of her panties. And I put one finger – just one! And not even all the way! – in her… um. Her…”

Aerith completed the sentence with a shrill screech : “My _ass_!”

Sephiroth gasped a sharp intake of air before he burst out into gleeful laughter.

Cloud held his head in his hands and shouted over his roaring boyfriend. “I’m sorry! I told you I was sorry then, too!”

Aerith had no pity for him on this topic. “You are the worst boyfriend, ever! I kicked you out of my tent and put you on a five day probation!”

“You had every right to!” Cloud wailed in misery.

“Then your ex-boyfriend _killed_ me!” Aerith pointed at Sephiroth with her pen.

“I killed you during Cloud’s anal fingering probation?” Sephiroth was howling. “I’m so fucking glad I brought this up!”

Cloud knew there was no defending his sexually and identity-confused former self. “I’m sorry! I thought I was Zack!”

“Zack would never do that without asking!” Aerith shouted back, any pretend anger gone from her face as she tried to mask a grin.

“He didn’t even ask?” Sephiroth could literally not laugh any harder. “You didn’t… even… ask?”

Cloud helplessly joined in on the laughter, because he had no more tears to shed. “I’m a terrible person! I’m sorry!”

Aerith was now lost in laughter as well. “Cloud, sweetheart I’m teasing you! All’s forgotten, please don’t feel bad.”

Cloud got up and went to her, giving her a solid hug before taking her hand and giving it several chaste kisses. “I forgot all about this shit, and I never even thought about how you felt and - ”

“I forgive you, already! Get off me!” She giggled, pushing him back towards his boyfriend, who caught him with open arms.

Sephiroth pulled Cloud right into his lap, “You know… If memory serves, you don’t ever ask before you shove fingers up _my_ ass either.”

“I must have a problem,” Cloud smiled, giving Sephiroth’s a quick kiss.

“Communication and boundaries are key during sex, Cloud,” Aerith giggled, writing on her clipboard. “But we should save that for another therapy session, though. Sephiroth, do you have anything else on your mind right now that you need to discuss before we wrap it up? Something other than mine and Cloud’s failed romance?”

Sephiroth’s stomach was still burning from laughter. “Hm… I guess I just want Cloud to understand why I’m here.”

“I know,” Cloud interrupted. “I do get it. I’m just a selfish brat, and impatient.”

“Yeah I know that,” Sephiroth agreed. “But I guess… I want you to know I’m doing this for you. I couldn’t give a shit about the Lifestream, I never cared about whatever the fuck they’ve got going on outside these walls. I never cared about anyone or anything but you, Cloud. All I wanted was to be in your life, and if the only way I could was as someone for you to fight, that was better than being alone forever. But they’re giving me a chance here, and if doing little tasks and little feel-good therapy sessions is what it takes to really be with you, I’m happy to do it. I mean… you have no idea how much shit I take every day from the scumbags who are locked up in this place. It was tough when I first got here, but now I just let it slide off my back like I did in the military. Because I know at the end of the day I’m gonna get to see you. And then one day they’re finally gonna cut me loose, and it’ll be just you and me again.”

“It’s so hard, though,” Cloud whispered.

“This is easy, Cloud. Compared to what I was prepared to do before Purgatory just to get near you… this is easy. This is better.”

“This is much better,” Cloud agreed, his voice breaking as he pressed his face against Sephiroth’s neck.

“I like kissing you more than fighting you,” Sephiroth admitted. “… But I still like fighting you.”

“I like it, too.”

“Have you two fought since Cloud’s arrival in the Lifestream?” Aerith asked.

Sephiroth huffed, “In Purgatory we were lucky to have enough energy to take a shower.”

“Would you be interested in a match up?” she asked, writing quickly on her clipboard. “I can suggest it to the gym here in the asylum. They’ll probably let you have it out, and you should sharpen up on the physical activity.”

With lifted eyebrows, Cloud frowned at Sephiroth in thought. “Hm. I might be a little rusty… but I’m up for it!”

“You wanna go, Strife?” Sephiroth asked, his eyes lidded with heavy flirtation.

“… Yeah,” Cloud smiled, craning his neck up to peck his lips. “If they let us, let’s do it.”

Sephiroth responded with another kiss, and after a few moments of forgetting Aerith was in the room, she finally broke the romantic silence with a giggle. “Alright, that’s enough for today. You did great, guys.”

“Are we done, already?” Cloud whined, clinging to Sephiroth’s side. “It was just getting fun!”

“Honestly, I think you two are fine without the therapy,” Aerith told them. “But this was a good talk. We can do it again if you guys want?”

They looked at each other. Sephiroth shrugged, “It’s up to you, baby.”

Cloud nodded, “I’d like to talk again. I feel really good right now!”

“You got it,” Aerith grinned. “And pretty soon, we’ll be doing it at our house with Zack over coffee and cookies, and not in this place. Sephiroth’s doing fantastic with his progress here.”

“I am?” he inquired doubtfully.

“That’s what I’m told,” Aerith wrote for a short while on her clipboard, absorbed with the task. “Cloud? Would you mind stepping outside for a few minutes? I just wanna talk to Sephiroth.”

“About me?” Cloud stuck out his tongue.

“Anything we have to say about you, we can say to your face. We’ll be just a minute.”

“Alright,” Cloud held Sephiroth’s hand until he was too far to touch him, and quietly closed the door behind himself.

“That was great, Sephiroth. You’re becoming a real sweetheart, you know. Well done,” She beamed, reaching over to cup his hand. It was especially nice to touch him and not feel the taint of Jenova on his skin. “I have your next task for you if you’re ready to hear it? You have to do it next time you see Cloud, which will be early tomorrow afternoon, not normal visiting hours. It’s something special for you two.”

“Is it sex?” he joked.

“No, but I think it might be the next best thing for you two.”

“What?”

“The fight. You’re gonna fight him tomorrow, it’s already arranged with the gym... this therapy session was more a suggestive sell for a matchup. And I didn’t even have to sell you on the idea, you two brought it up yourselves… you want to fight him don’t you?” Aerith’s smile tightening into something a little more cunning. “Kill him.”

“What?”

Her smile disappeared. “Kill him.”

Sephiroth was stunned. He could only repeat himself, “… What?”

“Your next task is to kill Cloud,” Aerith told him again. “That’s your final task _if_ you can follow through with it. If you don’t really try to kill him, you’re going to have to wait until the Universe comes up with something else for you. It might be a while, or it might not… just depends on you.”

Sephiroth stared at her for a moment before his eyes narrowed. “This is so transparent. You want me to throw the fight, to show that I’d rather rot in this hellhole than kill Cloud to get my freedom. C’mon Aerith, you know I’m not gonna fall for this shit.”

“I’m not bullshitting you. The Universe wants you to kill Cloud – or at least give a solid effort to try.”

“… Why?”

“Because the gym director is out in the hallway telling Cloud the same thing right now,” Aerith told him. “Now that you’re both rested, adjusted to what reality is like here, and in good health… we’re just curious about who’ll come out on top in an even match up. Who has the guts to go all the way? Who’s actually stronger? You know that death is impossible here… but you can do a lot of damage. None of it permanent, of course… but when we say we want you to fight to the death, we really mean it. No Jenova mutations or Mako to help either of you, just your bodies, your minds, and your skill. So if you can give your all in a fight against Cloud here on these grounds, we’ll know what to expect from you two on the outside. I’m sure you’re going to get into all kinds of trouble. The Universe just wants to know what it’s in for… if anything. Maybe it was Mako and Jenova all along. Or maybe you two really are that good. We want to know… and the only way to know is if you go in with the intention to kill each other.”

Cloud was in the hallway, leaning up against the wall with his arms crossed. His eyes flashed when Sephiroth appeared in the doorway, and he stood more alert.

“She tell you?” Cloud asked, none of the lighthearted chirp in his voice.

Instead of answering, Sephiroth circled Cloud. He smirked down at his height, his slender form, and his youthful appearance – this wasn’t the well-oiled fighting machine that Cloud had become with age and experience. This was the Cloud that had failed the SOLDIER exam and cried all summer break while watching Sabrina the Teenage Witch DVD’s in his pajamas. “You’re young. You’re small. Your muscles might carry memory, but they aren’t going to swing that buster sword or Tsurugi for you. I bet you couldn’t even pick it up.”

Cloud circled the opposite way, noting the distinct lack of bulky muscle on Sephiroth’s sturdier, taller frame. “You’re out of shape. Awkwardly proportioned. All skinny legs and arms, like a fucking scarecrow.”

Sephiroth felt the heat of true offense. “You don’t have your limit breaks anymore. More specifically, the only one that ever actually _worked_ on me.”

“You don’t have your bullshit mutated forms, either.”

Sephiroth _was_ mutated, though. He had been sitting on this secret for a long time, and he couldn’t wait to reveal it. “The only form I ever needed to beat you was shirtless.”

Cloud snorted, “You don’t have that good of a body, anymore. Or poor little Kadaj do to half the work for you.”

“Like _you_ had your pathetic civilian friends do half the work for _you_?” Sephiroth fired back.

“I’m not sick or under your control this time,” Cloud countered.

“You’re always gonna be under my control, and you know it.”

Cloud stepped forward and slammed Sephiroth into the wall, one hand going up underneath his chin to grip his neck while the other grabbed onto the front of his pants. His fingers sank into warm leather, and Cloud swallowed to gain his voice. “You’d better not get cocky and fuck this up for me. I want you out of this place and home with me tomorrow night… If you ruin this, I’m putting you on a… five day visit probation. I mean it.”

Sephiroth smiled at his boyfriend’s finely tuned demonstration of dominant rage, because it was mostly just that good old Strife bravado with nothing underneath it but the best of intentions. Cloud had forgotten how to be hard with all the squishy therapeutic talk they’d been drowning in lately.

Loathing Cloud felt just as natural to Sephiroth as loving him, and he slipped into it like a comfortable sweater as he sneered down his nose. “I’m gonna slaughter you, you little wannabe SOLDIER runt pig… you failed the exam. You’re Infantry. You’re nothing. You disgust me. I’m gonna fucking murder you. And then I’m gonna take you home… and I’m gonna murder you all over again, baby.”

Cloud shivered as lust rolled off his lover’s body in hot waves, and he tightened his grip on Sephiroth’s neck. “You’d better stop thinking about that second murder, and get focused on the first one. Do it like you mean it.”

“I do mean it,” Sephiroth whispered, and his voice dropped even lower. “When I finally get you home alone, you’ll beg me to kill you.”

Cloud felt a sudden drop in his groin as his cock began to ache. He was shocked, angry, and experiencing a rush of dark lust the likes of which he hadn’t felt in decades. If Sephiroth was going all the way, Cloud was going all the way with him. This was what their love was all about, and his mouth formed familiar words. “… I hate you, Sephiroth.”

“I hate _you_ , Cloud…” Sephiroth replied, letting the words stick to his lips as almost no sound came out from between.  

It took everything not to cover those lips in a kiss, and that mix of fear, desire, and resentment for never being the emotionally harder of the two boiled up in Cloud and spewed out. “You are a fucking soulless parasite. You don’t even feel _anything_ as much as I hate you.”

“Are you gonna do something about it?” Sephiroth asked.

“I’m gonna kill you again, General Sephiroth. I don’t even have to this time. I want to. I _like_ to. Destroying you is my purpose, and I’ll do it as many time as I have to until you understand who you belong to.”

“Mm, there he is,” Sephiroth murmured, his gaze filled with the darkest parts of love. “There’s my boy.”

Cloud gasped in disbelief, as he was actually in danger of blowing a load in his pants standing there in the hallway. His teeth bit his lips into a snarl, but his eyes were desperate and watery, “Let’s go to your room real quick.”

“Go home,” Sephiroth ordered, shoving Cloud off of him as though his grip had carried the weight of a pesky insect.

Cloud was left in the hallway to watch him leave, shaking from the devastation of how much he wanted that man to come back and say more of those dark, dirty things to him. Cloud let out a feral growl. “Fuck you, Sephiroth!”

He turned around, walking backwards with a smile and a middle finger raised. “Go fuck _yourself_ , Strife.”

Cloud broke into a smile, and threw up the dirtiest, most offensive hand gesture from Nibelheim. It carried the power of a hundred middle fingers, and Sephiroth knew what it meant. He blew Cloud a taunting kiss goodbye before turning around and heading quickly to his room.

Sephiroth needed to talk to Oryan, because he was going to need help from a demon if he was going to bring his A-game to a real fight against Cloud.

 

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

A/N

Well this story has become a little fun pleasure for me, haha. I’m having a good time writing it, and hopefully it’s an entertaining read. I didn’t commit to this chapter when I finished the last one because I didn’t know if I had anything more to say about the afterlife, but it turns out I have a WHOLE LOT to say about it! There will be at least two more chapters of this, but I can’t give an exact time frame because Recruiters and Blonde Ambition both need to be updated at this point so I wanna put all my effort into that. Just stay tuned! It might be a while but this little cliffhanger won’t last forever :D

 

 

 


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